Huge Jacknuts

Navy Vet. I bowled a 178 once. The quickest way to my heart is Frito Chili Pie… All tips go to veteran causes, meals and events. I’m @OldPizzaHuts too. Vet Rep.

[Huge Jacknuts @BreadedMark]

*at catholic confessional booth*

Me: ‘so they’re legally obligated to say ‘that’s why they call it gambling’ when you complain about how close you got to winning at the window in Vegas?’

Priest: ‘yes my son…’

[Huge Jacknuts @BreadedMark]

I wonder if they have used food at the Goodwill..

[Huge Jacknuts @BreadedMark]

The Cuervo Gold…the fine Columbian…make tonight a wonderful thing….

[Huge Jacknuts @BreadedMark]

‘Yessir I can get that margarita extra flies coming right up…annnnnnnd yes I can throw some Foghat on the juke if that’s your thing’

[Huge Jacknuts @BreadedMark]

@GolfLibrary ‘You think anyone wants a roundhouse kick to the face when I’m wearin these bad boys?! Fuhgettabout it!!’

[Huge Jacknuts @BreadedMark]

Yes even your monthly rent is called ‘subscription-based housing’ nowadays…

[Huge Jacknuts @BreadedMark]

‘You ever wonder how many emails you will pile up once you die? Well I do..’

Therapist: ‘I think it might be time we start talking about you getting another therapist…’

[Tex the White @hardspiral]

Me: HOLY SHIT ITS BIGFOOT

Bigfoot: HOLY SHIT ITS TINY WEINER

Me: *cries*

[𝙳𝚎𝚕𝚒𝚕𝚊𝚑 @Noshitdelilah]

A snuggle under a blanket, eat snacks, and watch old movies kinda day? Don't mind if I do.

[Huge Jacknuts @BreadedMark]

The sex two weeks into a new relationship < The two weeks after you give your shit job your two week notice

[Huge Jacknuts @BreadedMark]

They call me O.G. at this little beer joint by my house…

It could be because of my age or they know I used to sell dime bags back in the summer of 1994…

[Huge Jacknuts @BreadedMark]

No I’m not a UFC fighter, more of a KFC eater…

[Huge Jacknuts @BreadedMark]

I remember summer of 1993, found enough change in the sofa cushions to walk to Taco Bell and ate like 7 tacos, got a ‘water’ and filled it with Mountain Dew. Nobody cared, it was a glorious time…

[Huge Jacknuts @BreadedMark]

@Bunny_ngl Telemarketer job. One day. Actually 2 hours. ‘I can’t sell magazines to strangers over the phone’ the year was 1996.

[L 🇨🇦 @Ann_Hedonia1]

If you die at work do you die in real life

[Huge Jacknuts @BreadedMark]

You ever just randomly say out loud, ‘I wonder whatever happened to all my 1995 clothes?’

[Huge Jacknuts @BreadedMark]

Kind of disappointed in myself that I didn’t get in on all that great crack from the mid 1990s…

[Huge Jacknuts @BreadedMark]

@Iced_Chardonnay No OK. 😔

[Huge Jacknuts @BreadedMark]

In high school I was voted ‘Moist, Likely’

[Huge Jacknuts @BreadedMark]

‘Come out to da coast, we’ll get together have a few laughs..’