Brenton

Professional interneter

[Brenton @Brentonymous]

@GarethGiraffe @medranocanocano @elonmusk And what of the lies that “Iran is close to a nuclear bomb” for the last 40 years? North Korea is hyper-aggressive towards the United States. They have nukes. We should do nothing to them? Pakistan is not necessarily a good friend. They have nukes too. Just two examples.

[Brenton @Brentonymous]

@BlokeStokey @ArcRaidersIntel You’re the lowest piece of shit to exist fr

[Brenton @Brentonymous]

@Sachein93 @BGarcN2 This was my assumption as well. I also think it’ll be less complex on keyboard, just as the other comments state about BDO.

[Brenton @Brentonymous]

@MerrickMgm693 @falloutplays @BlueThunderReal The expedition is voluntary. If you can’t max out your raider while putting in a minimum of 40 hours at work, then you don’t deserve the Guts pfp.

[Brenton @Brentonymous]

@BananaSats @therooster Just tried to launch. Stuck in queue. Got a buddy who started the app at the same time as me and he got in somehow.

[Brenton @Brentonymous]

@justabfdude @OnlyOneAnswer @ArcRaiderAlerts I’ve been stuck in queue for like 25 minutes.

[Brenton @Brentonymous]

@bakwasbandkrein Brenton is a good name.

[Brenton @Brentonymous]

I got to travel to Germany with the love my life this year.
Play an unreleased game at Gamescom.
Get interviewed by the company making the game.
Be the closing statement for said game in a Louis Vuitton hat and Burberry polo.
Life is good mf. Life is good.

[Crimson Desert @CrimsonDesert_]

Couldn't make it to #gamescom2025 or simply miss the #CrimsonDesert experience?

Then check out the highlights video and re-live last week with us. 🥰 See you at PAX West!

Wishlist now on Steam: https://t.co/v4wbk8fDav

[Brenton @Brentonymous]

@aristhotle__ Isn’t the creation of art considered “work”? Don’t artists whose “work” or “creation” is of such value get paid for it? Artists whose art is not deemed “of value” by others don’t benefit from their lesser valued “work” or “creation”. Such is how it should be.

[Brenton @Brentonymous]

@lotfgame @b_eleanor_ Social media marketing team balling out.

[Brenton @Brentonymous]

@cryptopluged @underSixfeets This was New Zealand

[Crimson Desert @CrimsonDesert_]

Couldn't make it to #gamescom2025 or simply miss the #CrimsonDesert experience?

Then check out the highlights video and re-live last week with us. 🥰 See you at PAX West!

Wishlist now on Steam: https://t.co/v4wbk8fDav

[Brenton @Brentonymous]

@Rainmaker1973 Oh, gotta add Spore to this list as well.

[Brenton @Brentonymous]

@Rainmaker1973 Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic 1 & 2.
The Fable series.
Star Wars Republic Commando.
Mass Effect 1 & 2 (3 is still playable).

[Storyteller Lemmy @LemmySmackett]

Deep within the bowels of the Pentagon, in a shadowy conference room known only as The Tank—a sealed SCIF designed for TS/SAP-level briefings, built for the highest levels of operational and strategic secrecy—Elon Musk brings his hour-long presentation to a rousing conclusion.

"...and that is why Grok is essential to securing and projecting U.S. global hegemony in the coming century, ensuring America remains the guarantor of liberty in an increasingly unstable, AI-mediated world. Thank you."

The Joint Chiefs of Staff—eight members in all—stare down at the Technocrat Billionaire from their semi-circle of lofty perches.

"Uh." Elon clears his throat. "Any questions?"

The Chairman adjusts his wireframe glasses. "Mr. Musk, when you offered to present a demo of your AI to the DoD today, we expected something 𝘳𝘦𝘭𝘦𝘷𝘢𝘯𝘵 to the security interests of the United States of America."

The council harrumphs as one.

Elon falters, taken aback. "B-but this is relevant!" He stammers. "Grok is a superintelligence capable of commanding and coordinating the entire U.S. Armed Forces. It's science fiction made real! A SkyNet to call your own!"

The Chairman raises his palm. "Yes, yes, that's all well and good. But we already have five SkyNets to call our own, Mr. Musk—from your competitors."

"But our SkyNet is an even better SkyNet!"

"Mr. Musk, I'm going to level with you. What we really expected to hear about today was..." The Chairman pushes his glasses up, a glint flashing across the lens. "The Waifus."

The council murmurs in agreement.

"The...Waifus?"

The Chairman takes out his phone, taps open the Grok app, and points the screen at Elon. A blonde gothic-lolita in a lace choker and fishnet stockings curls her slender fingers into a heart shape over her ample bust.

"Hello honey~~♥️" The animated-AI girl coos. "How is my big strong General doing today? ♥️♥️♥️"

"O-oh. You mean the Companions." Elon giggles nervously. "That capability is restricted to the consumer version. Obviously, there'll be no Companions in the—"

"When are we getting reverse Playboy bunnygirl outfits?"

Elon blinks. "What?"

"When will I be able to put her—" The Chairman points at the girl on the phone. "—in a reverse Playboy bunnygirl outfit?"

Elon looks between the girl and the Chairman. "...what?" he croaks.

"A regular bunnygirl outfit exposes the arms and limbs while covering the torso." The Chairman gravely explains. "In a reverse bunnygirl outfit, detached sleeves sheathe the arms and legs while her delicious milk white tummy would be left bare."

"Um."

"Naturally tasteful latex pasties cover the nipples and crotch."

Elon opens his mouth, closes it, and opens it again. "I'm sorry, just to be clear: you want me to—"

"The Marines require a Big Titty Dommy Mommy Berserker," the Commandant of the Marine Corps barks.

Elon whirls. "A Big Titty Dommy Mommy—"

"With Ara Ara Yandere undertones!"

"I—"

"The Navy needs a trap," the Chief of Naval Operations lazily adds.

Elon turns and stares at the CNO. "A trap?"

"A mischievous femboy imp who wears frilly pink dresses."

"..."

"But he's got a baseball-sized bulge in his dainty white panties, 'cause he's hung like a cannon on the USS Missouri."

"Okay this is—"

The rest of the council go clockwise, shouting their demands.

"A Genki Tomboy for the Army!"
"A Kuudere Birdgirl for the Air Force!
"A 10,000-year-old Loli for the National Guard!"
"A—

"Hold on! Hold on!" Elon throws his hands up. "You want me to go back and tell my million-dollar bleeding-edge engineers at XAI to create custom official Waifus for every branch of the United States Armed Forces?"

"Of course," the Vice Chairman says. "It's imperative to National Security."

"How can Waifus be imperative to National Security?!"

"Mr. Musk," the Chairman intones. "It is the responsibility and the prerogative of this council to decide what is and is not critical to the training, equipment, and combat readiness of our nation's Armed Forces."

"Okay, but I just don't see how a bunch of 2d gooner-fuel floozies are—"

"If you can provide these critical capabilities to our servicemen," the Chairman goes on. "We will cancel the rest of the DoD's AI contracts—today."

Elon perks up. "R-really? You'll toss out ChatGPT and Claude? Just like that?"

The Chairman nods. "I speak for this entire council when I say that we are more than ready to lay the fate of this great nation in your capable, All-American, South-African hands."

Elon cranes his head, chuckling to himself. "Suck it, Sam, you conniving sociopath-twink."

"Mr. Musk?"

"I mean, that's fantastic!" Elon beams. "I'll get on it right now!" He fumbles with his pocket, digging out his phone. "Any other features I can add? Anything at all?"

“There is one.” The Chairman stands, the council rising with him. In a solemn chorus, the Joint Chiefs bellow as one:

“When do we get to 𝗙𝗨𝗖𝗞 them?”

[Brenton @Brentonymous]

@CiaranBri @SiannaDit @tenobrus @1thousandfaces_ Common saying amongst freaks and the unsocialized.

[Brenton @Brentonymous]

@Davidhetfield2 @dsullivan723 @DIYDisclosure Also, please stop putting three dots at the end of your sentences. You aren’t a middle school girl…

[Brenton @Brentonymous]

@Davidhetfield2 @dsullivan723 @DIYDisclosure Demand an example of my balls, keyboard man. You should also be made aware that your grammar is atrocious.