Bret Pitts

Credible NFL Insider for The Onion Sports |
Louisiana State Community College '19 |
Former NFL Scout

[Bret Pitts @BretPittsNFL]

The Dallas #Cowboys have called the Green Bay #Packers on the availability of Star EDGE Micah Parsons, reportedly offering Two 1sts and Kenny Clark. Green Bay told them off.

[Bret Pitts @BretPittsNFL]

BREAKING: Ole Miss former Head Coach has been caught at a yoga studio for the last time before he leaves for LSU tonight. The studio called the police on Kiffin, saying "special deals are for Ole Miss only"

[Bret Pitts @BretPittsNFL]

BREAKING: President Donald Trump is BUYING the Washington Commanders and changing their name back to the Redskins. He was quoted, saying "I stand with the Natives, especially during this Thanksgiving season."
Thoughts???
#DonaldTrump #Redskins #Thanksgiving

[Bret Pitts @BretPittsNFL]

#Jaguars DL Travon Walker has been EJACULATED for throwing a punch in today's game. This thug mentality doesn't belong.

[Bret Pitts @BretPittsNFL]

"This is the closest i could get to having my players blind"

[Bret Pitts @BretPittsNFL]

BREAKING: #Packers HC Matt LaFleur announced his decision to leave Green Bay, and has instead found a new job coaching, per source. LaFleur joins D3 Gallaudet College, a school for the deaf. "The best part about Gallaudet is that I cant read sign language, so they cant bitch."

[Bret Pitts @BretPittsNFL]

Former NFL QB Colin Kaepernick revealed that he plans to return to the football, joing Dwayne Johnson owned, UFL. He stated "samoans and I stand for the same clause, and its not just because you're welcome." WOW 👀

[Bret Pitts @BretPittsNFL]

Following the trade to the #Eagles, CB Jaire Alexander said the following about the trade "The Ravens never gave a shit about me, im excited to fly with the Eagles and make my debut inside Lambeau, disappointing my team inside there one last time."

[Bret Pitts @BretPittsNFL]

@BrandonBattin @cschmitzrun Waaaa waaaaa crying bitch

[Bret Pitts @BretPittsNFL]

The Dallas #Cowboys have called the Green Bay #Packers on the availability of Star EDGE Micah Parsons, reportedly offering Two 1sts and Kenny Clark. Green Bay told them off.

[Bret Pitts @BretPittsNFL]

https://t.co/9BzzpAvFP0

[Bret Pitts @BretPittsNFL]

The New England #Patriots are currently in a bidding war with the Pittsburgh #Steelers over WR AJ Brown, per a source. The two teams are quote on quote "willing to do anything, including getting their hands dirty" to acquire the star. WOW 👀

[Bret Pitts @BretPittsNFL]

The New England #Patriots are currently in a bidding war with the Pittsburgh #Steelers over WR AJ Brown, per a source. The two teams are quote on quote "willing to do anything, including getting their hands dirty" to acquire the star. WOW 👀

[Bret Pitts @BretPittsNFL]

https://t.co/iX4ThrC4PB

[Bret Pitts @BretPittsNFL]

BREAKING: #Giants Running Back Cam Skattebo has refused his injury reserve designation and rehab, and is currently planning on playing this week. Skattebo is working out a deal with the league to be allowed to use the teams Medical Cart instead of his legs.
#NFL

[Bret Pitts @BretPittsNFL]

Breaking: #Dolphins Head Coach Mime McDaniels just lost out on his shoe deal, with the company saying "we only support winners, not shitty frauds. Maybe see if Payless Shoes will sponsor you."
#MiamiDolphins

[Bret Pitts @BretPittsNFL]

@lancegetstackz God damn someone getting racist over a joke

[Bret Pitts @BretPittsNFL]

Breaking: The #Steelers are finalizing on a trade that'll send Star Wide Receiver Davante Adams to Pittsburgh. WOW 👀

[Terrence Parsons Jr @Tpars_boii]

Lmfao I’m dead people just be trolling literally impossible 😂

[Bret Pitts @BretPittsNFL]

The #Eagles are making a strong push for #Browns EDGE Myles Garrett. The reported offer is Three 1st round picks, and bi weekly blowjobs from Howie Roseman.
#FlyEaglesFly

[Bret Pitts @BretPittsNFL]

@PittpanthersML Grass is green

[Bret Pitts @BretPittsNFL]

Hall of Fame QB Joe Namath has announced his intentions of unretiring and play for the #Jets. "These guys are utter shit, i could throw better even now." He said. Namath, 82, is the oldest player to attempt a comeback. He last played in 1977 with the Rams.

[Bret Pitts @BretPittsNFL]

@StikksG @brandon_1183 @cschmitzrun Bro is a "hustler" lmao

[Bret Pitts @BretPittsNFL]

@brandon_1183 @cschmitzrun "NoBoDy BeLiEvEs YoU"

[Bret Pitts @BretPittsNFL]

@cschmitzrun Im the insider, not you pal.