Brett Williams

NBA Jam Grand Champion

[Brett Williams @BrettWilliams]

Go Pelicans

[Brett Williams @BrettWilliams]

We’ve probably made enough bowling balls

[Brett Williams @BrettWilliams]

Imagine Home Depot getting a Michelin star because their gravel tastes so good

[Brett Williams @BrettWilliams]

Shampoo? I’m not putting poo in my hair

[Brett Williams @BrettWilliams]

Workshopping some shampoo jokes on here lmk what you think

[Brett Williams @BrettWilliams]

Toothpaste for instance

[Brett Williams @BrettWilliams]

Why isn’t shampoo called hairpaste

[Brett Williams @BrettWilliams]

Calling it shampoo feels like a joke a toddler would make

[Brett Williams @BrettWilliams]

I have a baby yoda tattoo so I think I would know

[Brett Williams @BrettWilliams]

"Who is baby yoda's parents??" If you were a real Star Wars fan you would know that the yoda race comes from midichlorians jacking off onto pond scum in the Dagobah system

[Brett Williams @BrettWilliams]

@krischrisp Why do you only use AI to write posts when they’re about Zion

[Brett Williams @BrettWilliams]

@RodWalkerNola With obviously AI written tweets. I’m sure they’re putting in plenty of work

[Brett Williams @BrettWilliams]

Joan Cusack and John Cusack have entirely different accents why

[Brett Williams @BrettWilliams]

Pretty weird how stye rhymes with eye

[Brett Williams @BrettWilliams]

This is my Kansas City Royals

[Baseball’s Greatest Moments @BBGreatMoments]

That time Matt Stairs accidentally drilled Ken Harvey with a relay throw to home.

[Brett Williams @BrettWilliams]

When I was little I thought having a pontoon boat meant you were hella rich

[Brett Williams @BrettWilliams]

No Superbad??

[Criterion Collection @Criterion]

Odysseys 📺Coming to @criterionchannl in June! https://t.co/OOdjFlEDEs

The road of return is studded with adventure, discovery, and surprise in these tales of epic quests that draw on one of literature’s most enduring narrative archetypes: the journey back home.

Coprogrammed by @SeanFennessey

[Brett Williams @BrettWilliams]

Is ikea like an ipod or something

[Brett Williams @BrettWilliams]

Follow me on Goodreads and recommend books if you want Check out my profile on Goodreads!
https://t.co/g07gkCvfzS

[Brett Williams @BrettWilliams]

I’m cool enough to say it. I like the millennial burger places

[Brett Williams @BrettWilliams]

Legacy sequel piano version of the Austin Powers theme song