Brian Belefant

Writer + Author + Photographer + Chronicler of the amazing/brilliant/knuckleheaded things my kids do (#WhyImNotDead on Facebook)

[Brian Belefant @BrianBelefant]

It's Two-Fer Tuesday!

My story 'The Nice List' is a finalist for the Story Unlikely 2026 Short Story Contest!

Wow!

https://t.co/TflfaWpqL1

[Brian Belefant @BrianBelefant]

They asked me not to say anything until it was official. It's official!

https://t.co/88wUW78TCz

[Brian Belefant @BrianBelefant]

Tomorrow is 4/4, which is kinda perfect since I just found out that four (count 'em) four of my short stories were shortlisted for Sequestrum's Reprint Edition.

* A Bird in the Hand
* Exactly How Much?
* Caviar
* Sorry About the Mess

Not bad, huh? https://t.co/UXAvTWs9SE

[Brian Belefant @BrianBelefant]

Hey, National Guard! As long as you’re going to invade Portland, why not buy a house? https://t.co/LMVzPwDBmX

[Brian Belefant @BrianBelefant]

Hey National Guard! As long as you’re going to invade Portland, why not buy a house? https://t.co/Ed26CJ7Qk9

[Brian Belefant @BrianBelefant]

Thank you, @InspiringBee, for inviting me to talk about my book 'The Sultan of Garbage' and other stuff! https://t.co/Zh0vZMvIpl

[Brian Belefant @BrianBelefant]

If you’re looking for a more leisurely experience of me, maybe order a copy of the book. You can find a list of places that sell it at https://t.co/Z1BFQoCrnV.

Lucky you, nobody asked me to narrate the audio book.

[Brian Belefant @BrianBelefant]

I was invited to come onto Colorado and Company this morning to talk about ‘The Sultan of Garbage’. Wanna see? Sure you do.

I know. I talk really fast.
https://t.co/UoRUVPjeXB

[Brian Belefant @BrianBelefant]

@NotyourlizLiz Planning is important, but it isn’t everything. You can plan a jam-packed weekend at Disney World, but if your five-year-old becomes fascinated by a leaf on the sidewalk, you’re going to be looking at a leaf on the sidewalk.

[Brian Belefant @BrianBelefant]

My favorite holiday is Father’s Day because my favorite job title is father.

I’ve had others. Copywriter. Creative Director. Photographer. Teacher. Director. Business owner. Realtor. Author. Some were a ton of fun. None of them paid as badly.

[Brian Belefant @BrianBelefant]

You’re going to want to read something on the plane. Try ‘The Sultan of Garbage’. It’s not preachy, I promise. https://t.co/ZOf1FPu6qT

[Brian Belefant @BrianBelefant]

This piece of art, by Hugo McCloud, is made out of single-use plastic bags. The dude meticulously cut up the bags and ironed them onto a panel.

I know, right?

Want to see it in person? Head over to the Memorial Art Gallery in Rochester, New York.

[Brian Belefant @BrianBelefant]

I don't miss having to stay up late to catch up on work because somebody is sick/sad/hurt/going on a field trip, or awkward conversations about sex and politics and religion.

But you know what? I wouldn’t trade any of that. For anything.

[Brian Belefant @BrianBelefant]

I don’t miss croup, potty accidents, tantrums in the cereal aisle, purple dinosaurs, homework that didn’t get done, bake sales, playdates with kids whose parents are fighting, IEPs, ear infections.

[Brian Belefant @BrianBelefant]

You may not want it anymore, but someone does. Trust me.

For more solutions, smart people, and my book, ‘The Sultan of Garbage’, head to my website. https://t.co/7FTd4KCUI0

[Brian Belefant @BrianBelefant]

Don’t rush to throw items away.

Many charities can help find new homes for used clothing, appliances, and other functional items you no longer want or use.

[Brian Belefant @BrianBelefant]

Visit https://t.co/7FTd4KCmSs to learn how others are cleaning up our mess — and find out why ‘The Sultan of Garbage’ is the most fun you’ll ever have thinking about landfills.

[Brian Belefant @BrianBelefant]

It’s time for another tip!

Not for me. For you.

Free piles.

In my neighborhood, we put stuff we don’t need anymore on the curb and like magic, someone almost always takes it home. Broken lamp? Gone. Ugly chair? Snatched. It’s like a frat party after midnight for your junk.

[Brian Belefant @BrianBelefant]

Check me out ! I got interviewed by Authority Magazine and I gotta say, they make me sound pretty thoughtful. @iweev

https://t.co/QpJdprPHQJ

[Brian Belefant @BrianBelefant]

And yeah, I know the old car thing is a cliché. If your dad’s not into cars, head over to @FlowersOfPortand with him.

[Brian Belefant @BrianBelefant]

You know what your dad would love for Father’s Day? He’d love an old car.

Don’t get him one.

Instead, open up Instagram and head over to @OldCarsOfPortland.

[Brian Belefant @BrianBelefant]

The two of you can bond over hundreds of pictures of old cars without ever having to pop the hood, stare into the maw, and hear him utter the words, “I bet it’s the carburetor.”