@BrianBoys

Read my free short story: "The Battle of Cherry Coke." (What would happen if a losing football coach got help from the marching band?)

[@BrianBoys @BrianBoys]

Every time you see a headline like this a contract textbook writer is doing an embarrassing dance.

[@BrianBoys @BrianBoys]

@MorissaSchwartz When you get cast the high school musical but can’t quite learn the steps

[@BrianBoys @BrianBoys]

Someone at T-Mobile needs to watch Spirited.

[@BrianBoys @BrianBoys]

I was trying to figure out if the red and black snakes in the #HungerGames prequel were poisonous.

Rule of thumb:
Red Touch Yellow - Kills a Fellow
Red Touch Black - Venom Lack

So we should have known right away that the snake that bit Snow was not poisonous.

Right?

[@BrianBoys @BrianBoys]

@jounwin I don't read poetry, generally. But his is always great.

[@BrianBoys @BrianBoys]

@arnettwill twice this week complete strangers have told me I sound just like you.

Has anybody told you you sound just like a random guy in Oregon named Brian?

[@BrianBoys @BrianBoys]

Great. Now we're going to have a bunch more middle aged mice.
https://t.co/82JkMFKrsl

[@BrianBoys @BrianBoys]

@KevinandTrevor Incentive to join the resistance

[@BrianBoys @BrianBoys]

@Dannah_Banana It’s Toby Salt from Brian Bilston’s hilarious novel. Egotistical guy in a poetry group

[@BrianBoys @BrianBoys]

@greg16676935420 Kind of surprised you have 51 all the way down at 51. It’s one of the numbers that looks like it’s prime, but isn’t. That means a lot to a lot of people.

[@BrianBoys @BrianBoys]

@AnthonyGaenzle Apparently not when you’re writing checks.

[@BrianBoys @BrianBoys]

We went after Bin Laden and El Chapo.

What’s stopping us from taking out this El Niño character?

[@BrianBoys @BrianBoys]

@LoreKeating Brian de Bois-Guilbert, the villain in Ivanhoe. My name is Brian Boys. Is that obscure enough for you?

[@BrianBoys @BrianBoys]

@wordrefiner First recorded case of “big” being used as a verb. Call Dr Johnson

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@NerdyPam Same here. Maybe because verdigris is greenish

[@BrianBoys @BrianBoys]

@akili_smith I already have strong feelings against gophers in my lawn. Maybe Minnesota can be our new hated rival.

[@BrianBoys @BrianBoys]

What is going on with Agatha Christie?

Every time I'm enjoying one of her books about people getting to know each other on a train ride, or relaxing on an island, or digging in Mesopotamia--somebody gets murdered.

Way to ruin a good story!

[@BrianBoys @BrianBoys]

@MorissaSchwartz If I’m being honest, I think a lot more about ancient Mesopotamia.

[@BrianBoys @BrianBoys]

The other day I was wondering how come we never see any women running with the bulls.

[@BrianBoys @BrianBoys]

@wordrefiner LOL. Arch enemies. The Garys