Brian Gray

Fighter of the nightman, champion of the sun.

[Brian Gray @BrianGrayMusic]

Ok, so… flaming hot, cool ranch doritos. Are they just "ranch doritos" then? Or does one temperature win out and they're like "warm ranch"?

[Brian Gray @BrianGrayMusic]

If someone could please tell me when that “old man strength” is supposed to kick in, I’ll be waiting here instead of working out.

[Brian Gray @BrianGrayMusic]

@ZoeSGray I think he meticulously planned it these past 47 years.

[Brian Gray @BrianGrayMusic]

@daspetey Artwork dependent. My favorites are a Green Dragon shirt with gold and light green artwork on a forest green shirt, Billy Joel with light blue and white on navy, Decemberists with a floral theme on off-white… basically a color that doesn’t hide the artwork but complements it.

[Brian Gray @BrianGrayMusic]

12 amazing facts about electricity! Number 5 will shock you!!!

[Brian Gray @BrianGrayMusic]

@daspetey Same! I mean, I’m typing this on my phone right now, but like a whole paragraph?

[Brian Gray @BrianGrayMusic]

“You’re not usually objectionable.” - my wife, boosting my self esteem

[Brian Gray @BrianGrayMusic]

@ZoeSGray Someone once told me I’m “all kinds of cool”. Now I know what they meant.

[Brian Gray @BrianGrayMusic]

@ZoeSGray Are you 100% sure that none of these cracked your top 5 _because_ you were excited about seeing them and listened more?

[Brian Gray @BrianGrayMusic]

Witches must have a lot of leftover newt parts, just saying.

[Brian Gray @BrianGrayMusic]

I live my life in the “does this happen to you” portion of an infomercial.

[Brian Gray @BrianGrayMusic]

Dude, if I wanted to eat a lot of peaches, I wouldn’t still be living in the city.

[Brian Gray @BrianGrayMusic]

Things I have trouble reading:

1. Russian literature
2. My own handwriting
3. Rooms

[Brian Gray @BrianGrayMusic]

Ok, so I know you say that you’d “walk a thousand miles if [you] could just see [me] tonight”. But I have doubts about both your estimate of your walking speed and your stamina.

[Brian Gray @BrianGrayMusic]

Waiter: Do you want ice in your shirt?

…and that’s how you know your wardrobe is making an impact.

[Brian Gray @BrianGrayMusic]

Ok, don’t get me wrong, Queen is awesome. But an atom bomb just may be the least reloadable thing in the history of things.

[Brian Gray @BrianGrayMusic]

My cow for magic beans. Good idea?

[Brian Gray @BrianGrayMusic]

If you can't handle me at my worst, then you probably also can't handle me at my best, because they are very similar.

[Brian Gray @BrianGrayMusic]

God bless her, my daughter thinks she’s complimenting me by saying, “your legs are looking skinny”.