Brian Griffin

Brian Griffin here, I'm a dog who has a wit as dry as the martinis I drink, and live in Quahog, Rhode Island with my family. P.S. - I love you Lois.

[Brian Griffin @BrianGriffn]

Put quotation marks around every mention of "Bible," just to see what happens.

[Brian Griffin @BrianGriffn]

Guys, guys, guys.. It's been almost a week now, calm the fuck down, get over it, people get herpes.

[Brian Griffin @BrianGriffn]

"It's fun to wear bracelets!" - Johnny Depp (We all know he's thinking it.)

[Brian Griffin @BrianGriffn]

Do us all a favour and put your crying kid on vibrate.

[Brian Griffin @BrianGriffn]

Yes, that just happened. EST fan you know what I'm talking about.

[Brian Griffin @BrianGriffn]

SPOILER ALERT: I'm back where I belong next Sunday. You'll be seeing my face on your screens again shortly.

[Bring Brian Back @BringBrian]

You know what really grinds my gears?......

[The George Mossey Show @GeorgeMosseySho]

Every body chill out. @BrianGriffn is here with me & is fine. We are workin on a spin off. #BrianGriffin #familyguy

[Brian Griffin @BrianGriffn]

@FamilyGuyVinny That's what they want you think.

[Brian Griffin @BrianGriffn]

Everyone, I can almost guarantee you'll be seeing me again soon. There's no Stewie without me. #familyguyspoilers

[Brian Griffin @BrianGriffn]

Hey Vinny... FUCK YOU!

[Brian Griffin @BrianGriffn]

It's been fun!

[Brian Griffin @BrianGriffn]

Can't believe I'm only just finding out that Mitt Romney has a son named Tagg. You people have disappointed me for the last time.

[Brian Griffin @BrianGriffn]

Just found out that failure IS an option. Shit.

[Brian Griffin @BrianGriffn]

Smoking pot may be illegal, but then again, so is the music on your iPod.

[Brian Griffin @BrianGriffn]

Peter, I'm not saying you're fat -- I'm just saying, if I picked the 10 fattest people I know, you'd be 8 of them.

[Brian Griffin @BrianGriffn]

Happiness. What is that, and where can I get some?

[Brian Griffin @BrianGriffn]

How do you keep my Ex, Jillian busy for many hours? Tell her to count the steps on an escalator.

[Brian Griffin @BrianGriffn]

Rebecca Black: Front seat. Back seat. ☑ Can we just run her over with the fucking car?