Brian Inzai

Lateral Thinker |Mentor| Student of life | Capricorn| Leftie | RND | Reposts and likes are not an endorsement

[Brian Inzai @BrianInzai]

@sangdebby It looks beautiful on you

[George T. Diano @georgediano]

Exams are here, and different schools have organized emergency prayer meetings for the daughters and sons of Agrippina. As we speak, the little pikiins are speaking in tongues, rolling on the floor and calling for DIVINE INTERVENTION. Others are rebuking the spirit of confusion, binding demons of failure and casting out the ghost of mathematics.

Their prayer request is simple,, Yehova Wanyonyi to confuse the examiners where the answer is wrong. Those who write like gwenos want their handwriting to be so anointed that even the examiner cannot question it.

These same pikiins have spent the whole year perfecting TikTok dances, mastering the latest Gengetone moves and engaging in extra-curricular activities that cannot be mentioned here bcoz some parents can't believe their pikiins are actually engaging in horizontal engineering as early as 15yrs.

Now that KCSE or that thing called KEPSEA is here, they're demanding miracles from heaven. Some are even asking God to give them the same marks as the student who has been reading from January.

Imagine competing with someone who has been studying while you were busy perfecting the siaka siaka challenge. Let me tell you something you little pikiins, EXAMS ARE NOT A CHURCH SERVICE. You cannot dance your way to campus, speak in tongues your way to an A, or roll on the floor until Chemistry starts making sense.

And to the pulpit bandits stretching their hands over these children's heads, please let's be honest to this spoilt brats. Even if you declare the entire power of heaven through their skulls, Yehova Wanyonyi cannot sit the exam on their behalf.

God helps those who help themselves. If you didn't study, go and face your destiny. The examiner is not your pastor, & the marking scheme is not a prayer request. Kama huku soma, utaokota Daudi msalaba Yako safiii. Chesaa!!

[Bundi Kirianki @BundiKirianki]

Former Raila Odinga's bodyguard Maurice Ogeta has lifted the lid on what happened during Finance Bill 2023 protests.

He admitts that Prof Makau Mutua kept recording all their movements thus exposing his late boss to danger

It now makes sense.@makaumutua was all along a turncoat

[Kingi Pino @CassimMganga]

@MigunaMiguna @edwinsifuna We have receipts

[A.M Media @a_m_media_ke]

Drama as Fred Obachi Machoka reads the riot act to niece Gloria Orwoba after WANTAM gimmicks at his 50 years anniversary celebration at Ulinzi sports complex.

[...jakaBABA. @karoba_john]

No president ever got this near to Agwambo. Only Ruto! But do I say? After the state burial, Luos are now saying in this video that Ruto sent “emissaries,” not “mercenaries,” to deliver Oxygen not teargas🤣. Anyway...Tutamz siku zote!!

[Brian Inzai @BrianInzai]

@georgediano I want this

[DP 🇰🇪 @DanChepta]

What happened to him?

[Nyakundi Report @NyakundiReport]

A woman went to report a defilement case involving her 14-year-old sister and a 50-year-old man. At the OB, she claims a female officer demanded Sh10,000 before the suspect could be arrested.

When she could not pay, she was told to leave or risk being locked up.

[Olaudah Equiano® @RealOlaudah]

Useless Independence. 🎵

[Daily AI Tracker @DailyAITracker]

You're seeing these terms everywhere on X but don't know what half of them mean.

Here's the full dictionary:

1. GOAT — Greatest Of All Time
2. POV — Point Of View
3. FOMO — Fear Of Missing Out
4. YOLO — You Only Live Once
5. LOL — Laugh Out Loud
6. OMG — Oh My God
7. WTF — What The Fuck
8. IDK — I Don't Know
9. TBH — To Be Honest
10. NGL — Not Gonna Lie
11. IMO — In My Opinion
12. FR — For Real
13. IYKYK — If You Know, You Know
14. TL;DR — Too Long; Didn't Read
15. SMH — Shaking My Head
16. ICYMI — In Case You Missed It
17. BRB — Be Right Back
18. BTW — By The Way
19. DM — Direct Message
20. IRL — In Real Life
21. RN — Right Now
22. LMK — Let Me Know
23. ASAP — As Soon As Possible
24. JK — Just Kidding
25. NVM — Never Mind
26. LMAO — Laughing My Ass Off
27. AFK — Away From Keyboard
28. FYP — For You Page
29. BFF — Best Friends Forever
30. TMI — Too Much Information
31. W — Win / Winning
32. L — Loss / Losing
33. RATIO — Reply gets more engagement
34. MID — Average / Not impressive
35. SUS — Suspicious
36. BET — Okay / Agreed
37. BASED — Confidently holding a view
38. NO CAP — No lie
39. CAP — A lie
40. RIZZ — Charm / Game
41. SLAY — Did something impressively well
42. ATE — Did something extremely well
43. FIRE — Excellent
44. COOKED — In trouble / Finished
45. LET HIM COOK — Let someone continue
46. DELULU — Delusional
47. VIRAL — Spreading rapidly online
48. MEME — Shareable internet joke/idea
49. CLICKBAIT — Designed to make you click
50. GOATED — Extremely great
51. STAN — Super fan
52. FLEX — Show off
53. AMA — Ask Me Anything
54. OP — Original Poster
55. OC — Original Content
56. NSFW — Not Safe For Work
57. ROFL — Rolling On the Floor Laughing
58. FRFR — For Real, For Real
59. ONG — On God
60. ISTG — I Swear To God
61. IJBOL — I Just Burst Out Laughing
62. AFAIK — As Far As I Know
63. WBU — What About You?
64. HBU — How About You?
65. G2G — Got To Go
66. TTYL — Talk To You Later
67. HMU — Hit Me Up
68. OFC — Of Course
69. FYI — For Your Information
70. TBF — To Be Fair
71. IDC — I Don't Care
72. IK — I Know
73. IKR — I Know, Right?
74. TIL — Today I Learned
75. WYM — What You Mean?
76. WDYM — What Do You Mean?
77. ILY — I Love You
78. PFP — Profile Picture
79. Mutuals — People who follow each other
80. OOMF — One Of My Followers/Friends
81. Lurker — Watches without interacting
82. Troll — Provokes people online
83. Bot — Automated account
84. Receipts — Proof / Evidence
85. Clapback — Sharp response
86. Callout — Public criticism
87. Bait — Content designed to provoke
88. Ratioed — Reply outperforms the original
89. Trending — Currently popular
90. Touch Grass — Spend less time online
91. Doomscrolling — Endless negative scrolling
92. Ragebait — Content designed to make people angry
93. YAP — Talk excessively
94. YAPPER — Someone who talks a lot
95. VIBE — Overall feeling / atmosphere
96. LOWKEY — Somewhat / Secretly
97. HIGHKEY — Openly / Strongly
98. LOCKED IN — Fully focused
99. GLOW UP — Major positive transformation
100. HIT DIFFERENT — Feels especially good/different

Save this.

You'll need it.

[George T. Diano @georgediano]

Pulpit bandits saw birds of Ngethe after a Gen Z mother quietly storms the Church Kesha to read the riot act to the agent of Yehova Wanyonyi. The pulpit bandit thought that mwana kondo had been touched by the Holly spirit & wanted to remove ushuhuda kemkem only for the brave girl to respectfully request them to reduce the noise. Buana the fear is gone & gone. Daughter of Agrippina is right, you can't make noise in the name of speaking in tongues, Mungu hana shida ya maskio. Hedimonic parangui!!

[I may have @QuincyWandera]

A lecturer in a university in Rift Valley, is selling Ruto’s politics in class. And when the students say “Wantam” he threatens them by saying if (when) William loses and you’re from another community do not come back. Go to the university from where you come from. @NCIC_Kenya AND @DCI_Kenya will not abduct him…. #RutoMustGo #Wantam

[Random Grandpa @Amakabirajr]

@MugureNjehia Sophie you are better than this, you are part of the future political landscape of our beloved country. Do not learn bad manners from the establishment politicians.

You can win by any means necessary but not at any cost. You can’t kill the world to save yourself, is what I mean

[Mohamed Wehliye, MBS @WehliyeMohamed]

Oh dear! I needed this laughter haki! Never laughed like this bwana!
Didn't know kotini is where you go for comedy these days!
Bro, waria......hii ni friendly banter

[𝗪𝗔𝗧𝗦𝗢𝗡 @WatsonArinda]

Whoever WROTE this hymn, I would love to know what inspired it.

It must have come from a deep place in their spirit, inspired by the HOLY SPIRIT. 🥹

[NTV Kenya @ntvkenya]

Airtel Fibre Unit Bows Out:

Airtel Africa is shutting down its Kenyan wholesale internet and fibre business, just two years after launch, after the unit struggled to turn a profit.

#NTVTonight @Karanja_Ibrah

[Melanine... @EstarGithinji]

Just saw this...I hope they are all safe...🥹🥹😭

[chi..🖤✨ @nnamanichi93717]

The truth about marriage.