Brian A. Johnson

Lawyer. Army Property. Bald. (he/him) Formerly - @GeorgetownLaw; @GtownLawGlobal; @TAMU

[Brian A. Johnson @Brian_AJohnson]

Anybody want to make one of those “We’ll get married if we are both still single at 30” pacts? (I turn 30 in 8 days)

[Brian A. Johnson @Brian_AJohnson]

No pets allowed? What I think you meant to say was

[Brian A. Johnson @Brian_AJohnson]

Was just referred to as the “dad” of a group of fellow hostel go-ers. When they heard I was 29 they said “oh… so you’re old?” Y’all I’m just trying to enjoy my vacation can we not do this👴🏻

[Brian A. Johnson @Brian_AJohnson]

@shelbipolk Same which is why I’m staying in multiple hostels

[Brian A. Johnson @Brian_AJohnson]

How my coworkers see me as I explain to them my plan as a 29 year old adult is to travel to Ireland for 10 days bringing only a day pack and sleeping in hostels the whole time

[Brian A. Johnson @Brian_AJohnson]

If you aren’t a Kelly’s Irish Times supporter I simply don’t want to hear from you

[Brian A. Johnson @Brian_AJohnson]

me and who

[Brian A. Johnson @Brian_AJohnson]

When your friend sends you a novelty portrait of your cat for Christmas, you hang it in her clubhouse / bottom shelf

[Brian A. Johnson @Brian_AJohnson]

My parents have given me the gift of ✨high fashion✨

[Brian A. Johnson @Brian_AJohnson]

The police report I’m reading uses the phrase “what he was doing was hella illegal”. While an interesting way to phrase that in an official report, it is largely correct.

[Brian A. Johnson @Brian_AJohnson]

I’ve gone from “I’d only be getting a cat because my life can’t accommodate a dog right now” to “I would die for this lil demon just look at her little face” in the span of a month. Anyway here’s a pic of Millie.

[Brian A. Johnson @Brian_AJohnson]

When they announced a door decoration contest at work, my paralegals asked to decorate my door. They did not disappoint 🐱.

[Brian A. Johnson @Brian_AJohnson]

Landon Donovan needs to give up and shave his head

[Brian A. Johnson @Brian_AJohnson]

No no @DennysDiner. Thank YOU for YOUR service.

[Brian A. Johnson @Brian_AJohnson]

One of my paralegals now says “howdy” enough people ask her if she is from Texas. She is not. She blames me.

[Brian A. Johnson @Brian_AJohnson]

tyfys kings 👑👑

[Brian A. Johnson @Brian_AJohnson]

BREAKING: Millie has been granted a full pardon and released from confinement at the local animal shelter

[Brian A. Johnson @Brian_AJohnson]

100% no.

[Brian A. Johnson @Brian_AJohnson]

Will this still be relevant enough in October for me to use for Halloween 🤔

[Brian A. Johnson @Brian_AJohnson]

This is the type of lawyer I want to be

[Brian A. Johnson @Brian_AJohnson]

It’s almost time for my annual google search for “bald man Halloween costume”