Brian Washburn

Blah blah blah...

[Brian Washburn @BrianWashy]

I think Jesus needs to come back and die again for all the sins I committed at that Motley Crue concert back in 86.

[Brian Washburn @BrianWashy]

@Zelina_VegaWWE @WWE I like the one where you were a lawbreaker! 😉

[Brian Washburn @BrianWashy]

Haven't been on here in a long time...nothing much has changed I see.

[Brian Washburn @BrianWashy]

What's the opposite of flawless? I'm that.

[Brian Washburn @BrianWashy]

Summer time tip: Be sure to wear plenty of SPF50 when you fuck off.

[Brian Washburn @BrianWashy]

To answer your question: NO...I really don't have a fucking clue what's going on here.

[Brian Washburn @BrianWashy]

My liver is telling me to go stand in the corner and think about what I did this weekend.

[Brian Washburn @BrianWashy]

My superpower is the ability to not say everything that comes to mind.

You're a fucking dick!

Oh yeah, I don't have superpowers.

[Brian Washburn @BrianWashy]

Some of you are maybe going to miss me if I ever get my shit together and grow up.

[Brian Washburn @BrianWashy]

What's the difference between a hot dog @ Fenway Park and one @ Yankee Stadium?
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You're still able to buy one @ Fenway.

[Brian Washburn @BrianWashy]

Had a customer call my cell phone at 6am this morning in case you were all wondering how early I start asking people if they are on crack.

[Brian Washburn @BrianWashy]

The best part about trying to eat healthy food is all the bad food you eat an hour later because you're fucking starving!

[Rock @TheMichaelRock]

The best part about vacation is how nobody questions your alcoholism.

[Brian Washburn @BrianWashy]

How to win an argument with a female:

1. Wrong, You've already lost by thinking there's a way to win.

[Brian Washburn @BrianWashy]

Daily horoscope: Nobody really gives a fuck.

[Brian Washburn @BrianWashy]

Detox??? Hell no, I thought you said retox.

[Brian Washburn @BrianWashy]

My favorite of the Alien films is the one where Hillary Clinton tries to convince us that she actually cares about you and I.

[Brian Washburn @BrianWashy]

When I get to hell this all goes towards "Time served" correct?

[SondraDee @SondraDeeMe]

I think it's important the carpet match the drapes, I just can't get myself to shave my head.

[Bö Jänke: Hönkÿ @Bob_Janke]

Paris Hilton is worried ISIS will target her because she's famous. Paris Hilton doesn't realize that ISIS didn't exist in 2004.