Briar Belen

actual garbage person.

[Briar Belen @BriarBelen]

I am an always will be - The optimist. The hoper of far-flung hopes. The dreamer of improbable dreams.

[Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez @AOC]

“6 weeks pregnant” = 2 weeks late on your period.

Most of the men writing these bills don’t know the first thing about a woman’s body outside of the things they want from it. It’s relatively common for a woman to have a late period + not be pregnant.

So this is a backdoor ban.

[Briar Belen @BriarBelen]

@BurtsBees .y. Nunn n.
Mmmb b.c.
Ml m

[Briar Belen @BriarBelen]

Watching my 4 year old play the first zelda better than I can is demoralizing.

[Briar Belen @BriarBelen]

Dear other mom at the park, we are outdoors and I can still smell your perfume from 10 feet away. Tone it down. It's not 2002 anymore.

[Tony Hawk @tonyhawk]

Pulling up to drive-through window, girl starts to read back my order and stops herself: “you’re Tony Hawk?”
me: yes
her: “can I tell everyone?”
me: I suppose
her: “yo, we got Tony Hawk at the window!”
voice from kitchen: “Who?”

[Briar Belen @BriarBelen]

If someone gives me $1 I'll throw my Starbucks drink at these boys who have been saying "ello govena" for the past half hour at every car that drives by.

[Briar Belen @BriarBelen]

@fiddlestan80 It's literally top of the line the best anyone will ever do in their lifetime.

[Briar Belen @BriarBelen]

Making a new mom friend is like taking ecstasy. Super fun and exciting. Hoppin around like a whipped bitch

[Briar Belen @BriarBelen]

I made a mom friend at the park today so I'm def up in everyones dms tonight.

[Briar Belen @BriarBelen]

@renbice She ain't hearing any of that bs over here. Step mom is a real mom. You have a different relationship with her than I do but you're still as valid. But also. Hunter and I totally win at the strict parents.

[Briar Belen @BriarBelen]

Even at my lowest points I've still never felt it necessary to trash someone else for getting a win. Sure I'm jealous, but bitches be winnin out here and ya cant hold a sister down.

[Briar Belen @BriarBelen]

When I hear "I swear to God I want a hug" shouted from one high school boy to the other I know I've spotted the gay.

[Briar Belen @BriarBelen]

All of yalls white trash husbands and boyfriends look all the same. It makes it really confusing when I'm scrolling thru Facebook. Get some variety.

[Briar Belen @BriarBelen]

"My life was a mess, but I could clean my room."

[Briar Belen @BriarBelen]

@fiddlestan80 My family has all been blocked for YEARS.

[Dr. Phil @DrPhil]

Kicking back on a Friday 🤙🏻

[Briar Belen @BriarBelen]

You're Not Supposed To Capitalize Every Word In A Sentance. Annoying.

[Briar Belen @BriarBelen]

I didnt mean to retweet that last thing, but I cant see half my phone screen due to shatter issues so idk how to delete. Hope ya enjoy

[TerakJK @Terak404]

What the fuck 😂

[Briar Belen @BriarBelen]

I'll never measure up to you, but I bet I can kick your ass