Claire Brooks

I am a work in progress.

[Claire Brooks @BrilliantOne]

Wondered why I was getting The Looks today.

Remembered I’m wearing a shirt with Medusa on it that says DON’T LOOK AT ME.

Carry on, then.

[Claire Brooks @BrilliantOne]

Dear god, I hope they all suffocate under the weight of their imaginary money.
Billions? Are you serious? 🙄

[Claire Brooks @BrilliantOne]

Anybody else ever think about Grandma Death from Donnie Darko? Like on a daily basis? Just shuffling around, checking the mail, mumbling about dying alone.
Just me?

[Claire Brooks @BrilliantOne]

@JakeSullins Oof. 🤦🏻‍♀️😂

[Claire Brooks @BrilliantOne]

Unconditional love is a myth we were taught to expect from our parents, but even that doesn’t happen. So you’re not gonna find it on Love is Blind, is what I’m saying, my precious doves.

[Claire Brooks @BrilliantOne]

I just need to know who told these babies on reality TV and/or podcasts about “unconditional love” being GOALZ because, call me a cynic, but it doesn’t exist unless we are talking about a beloved dog. Even then.

[Claire Brooks @BrilliantOne]

My teenage son likes to pick on me for how loudly I stomp through the house.
Little does he know, I can move without a sound.
When he hears me coming, it’s because I want him to.
Ha! That sounds so ominous, but I’m serious.

[Claire Brooks @BrilliantOne]

@Maegan_Poland This happened to me when I moved to MS & got my number.
This was long ago, so hopefully there are better ways now, but I personally called back a few collection places and told them to stop calling my number.
Goodness the grief of having someone’s old number. 🤦🏻‍♀️

[Claire Brooks @BrilliantOne]

Dear [redacted],
Grumpy work-related emails at 9:30 pm are not the vibe. EVER.

The end forever and ever.

[Claire Brooks @BrilliantOne]

Shit.
I treated myself too much, & now I can’t spend any money for a month: A Memoir.
Shit.

[Claire Brooks @BrilliantOne]

@emmabo Ah, the “sharing each other’s clothes” level of the relationship.

[Claire Brooks @BrilliantOne]

No less than three cars going VERY slow pulled out in front of me on my commute. And I saw a stray dog carrying an unmoving kitten. So today can probably only get better.

[Claire Brooks @BrilliantOne]

I just want to see Barbie again. In the theater. Maybe by myself. Regardless. I just want to watch it again and again.

[Claire Brooks @BrilliantOne]

You think you know someone…
…until you find them defending Jason Aldean on social media at 2am. 🙄

[Claire Brooks @BrilliantOne]

@ravelingout @Seanennis110 @VariantLit Tom Hanks made me do it!
It was underwhelming.

[Claire Brooks @BrilliantOne]

@ravelingout

[Claire Brooks @BrilliantOne]

@IamRageSparkle Still do it. Did it this morning. Will always do it. I’ll be glad when my teenager doesn’t want all the Gatorade anymore bc all that shit still comes with awful plastic.

[Claire Brooks @BrilliantOne]

@emmabo Ahh yes. Special technique. I shall sit near you but not touch you. At all.

[Claire Brooks @BrilliantOne]

@emmabo Funny. We didn’t know they were going to tattoo our puppy Luna when they did, & I had fun imagining what she would’ve wanted instead of just a blue line. 😂

[NASCAR @NASCAR]

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