UK Police

UK Police Force of banter & pastries.
Not for reporting crime, use 999/112.
Feel free to report ghost sightings to us though.

[Pure Zante @PureZante]

Thursdays in Zante are going to be crazy wild! @CherryBayZante @TurtleBarZante @ZooZante @LinekersZante @GazGShore @ZanteBoxOffice 🎈🍹🍺✈️🌞

[UK Police @BritishPoliceUK]

Small earthquake hits just off coast of Plymouth. No reported casualties. Town centre destroyed. Estimated £200 worth of damages

[UK Police @BritishPoliceUK]

Wannabe hipsters stage protest in Notting Hill after bar found selling Peroni for less than £4.50 a pint.

[UK Police @BritishPoliceUK]

Hull FC fans detained for shocking fashion crimes.

[UK Police @BritishPoliceUK]

Reports of Stoke-On-Trent being stolen are true. Suspicions fall on visiting Somalian pirates. Prime Minister has thanked them personally.

[UK Police @BritishPoliceUK]

Assault at Indian Restaurant in Bury St Edmonds. One customer left in korma. #banter

[UK Police @BritishPoliceUK]

Vote on National Chav Cull to on 14th December

[UK Police @BritishPoliceUK]

@officialtulisa Page 1 of the Sun tomorrow, maybe have been more interested if it was Page 3 #thesun #news #uk #Tulisa #tulisathedrugdealer

[UK Police @BritishPoliceUK]

@GaryBarlow to be bought in for questioning after that performance on the #RoyalVariety #RVP #RoyalVarietyPerformance

[UK Police @BritishPoliceUK]

Reports of batterings in Chip Shops across the UK #crime #police #banter #crimestoppers

[UK Police @BritishPoliceUK]

Warning drivers to be careful when in the Old Trafford area, everyone seems to be getting 3 points #football #epl #mufc #banter

[UK Police @BritishPoliceUK]

If you see the famous red skinned, British whale beached, please roll them back into the sea #malia2014 #zante2014 #napa2014 #Ibiza2014

[UK Police @BritishPoliceUK]

Drunken man reported at Branston food packaging facilty, Rednall. Witnesses report seeing him pickled #banter #crime #police #joke #laugh

[UK Police @BritishPoliceUK]

Coke now at all time high in city centres. Public advised to buy in multipacks and not vending machines especially at live event arenas

[UK Police @BritishPoliceUK]

BURY LAUNDRETTE BURGLED. Thieves make clean get away #crime #police #uk #robbery

[UK Police @BritishPoliceUK]

Witnesses wanted. Theft of upto £10,000 in Clacton-On-Sea after Bank Of Chocolate Money raided #appeal #police #uk #crime #crimestoppers