Brock Jenken

Come for awful jokes, stay for even worse vine references

[Brock Jenken @BrockJenken]

@clear_olives @GrrlGhost Y E S

[Brock Jenken @BrockJenken]

Update: the girl my step-great-grandmother was trying to set me up with eloped, so I guess I'm off the hook!!

[Brock Jenken @BrockJenken]

My step-grandmother tried to set me up with her friend's great-grand daughter on the account that I play piano. Could be doing worse tbh

[Brock Jenken @BrockJenken]

Do parents realize that adding "..." after every phrase makes it seem like they're plotting your murder?

[Brock Jenken @BrockJenken]

The key to success is lowering your expectations. And then lowering them. And then lowering them

[Brock Jenken @BrockJenken]

That sad moment when your Bitmoji is more photogenic than you are

[Brock Jenken @BrockJenken]

@clear_olives You're giving me flashbacks

[Brock Jenken @BrockJenken]

If a course requires 10 educated profs to accurately teach the content, how do they expect an undergrad to memorize everything???

[Brock Jenken @BrockJenken]

People are complaining about the rain, but I'm just happy it's not snow tbh

[Brock Jenken @BrockJenken]

Every 30 seconds I gain back from using the "Skip Intro" button will go straight to into studying! Thank Netflix!!1!

[Brock Jenken @BrockJenken]

@clear_olives Bedtime stories in the Fall??

[Brock Jenken @BrockJenken]

My childhood ended the first time I asked for a bowl instead of an ice cream cone

[Brock Jenken @BrockJenken]

@clear_olives r/takenoutofcontext

[Brock Jenken @BrockJenken]

*feels adventurous*
*buys CRUNCHY peanut butter*
*regrets feeling adventurous*

[Brock Jenken @BrockJenken]

@clear_olives @jk06701554 It's called colostrum

[Brock Jenken @BrockJenken]

Me: I'm gonna study the useful and important topics covered in class
My prof: What's the name of that chemical the textbook mentioned once

[Brock Jenken @BrockJenken]

Who needs to wait until April Fools to make a joke when your academic career is one!!!

[Brock Jenken @BrockJenken]

@clear_olives @AbrasiveGhost The feels hurt, man

[Brock Jenken @BrockJenken]

Lab TA: You understand the concepts really well and you put a lot of effort, but you forgot a comma in your references, so you got a 60% 🙃🙃🙃

[Brock Jenken @BrockJenken]

*Drunk girls bumps into me at a club*
Her friend: Stay away from her, she has a boyfriend of 5 years
Me: ??????