Brooke

[Brooke @Brookie_Biaatch]

Bae: come over
Keelan: I can’t tonight
Bae: my parents aren’t home
Keelan: Omw......

[Brooke @Brookie_Biaatch]

@zachlanebryan haven’t tweeted since 2020, but here to say ima need you to release dawns like asap.

[jacky @JackWilliamRtF]

in 2009 the only thing you had to know to be funny was any of the words in this video

[Brooke @Brookie_Biaatch]

@whit_law I’m going to have lotsssss for that one lol he’s WILD.

[Brooke @Brookie_Biaatch]

Y’all. So Kason was in child care the other night at the gym, right? One of the girl workers picked him up and was like buddy your pants are fallin down let me fix them. Do you know what this THREE YEAR OLDS response was?????

[Brooke @Brookie_Biaatch]

@whit_law I went to pick him up and she said well I see you all practice proper body autonomy names and I said uhh yeah why and she said Kason told me he has a big penis and I said oh wow okay I’m so sorry lol

[Brooke @Brookie_Biaatch]

I don’t remember reading a step by step on how to handle this in any of the parenting books 😂

[Brooke @Brookie_Biaatch]

He legit said.....it’s cause I got a big penis.

🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️ WHAT ARE THE TEENAGE YEARS GONNA LOOK LIKE?!!!!!

[Brooke @Brookie_Biaatch]

👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

[Jocelyn J. Fitzgerald MD @jjfitzgeraldMD]

So many of us go into Ob/Gyn because more than any other field of medicine we not only master complex physiology, surgery, and making split-second, life-saving decisions; we also show up to work each day ready to wage a political battle just to give women the care they deserve.

[Brooke @Brookie_Biaatch]

Gave Keelan the option to stay at my moms because kason wanted to and his response was I never want you to be alone or sleep alone so I wanna come with you 😭 when I tell y’all he’s the sweetest and most thoughtful kid in the world I stand by it with every ounce of my being

[Brooke @Brookie_Biaatch]

I just ran out of gas for the first time and I’m traumatized because I almost died on the interstate 🤦🏻‍♀️ someone teach me how to adult

[Brooke @Brookie_Biaatch]

Can I get an Uber wine delivery to my house tho?¿

[Brooke @Brookie_Biaatch]

@YourLitUncle No Jennifer Aniston tho?!!!

[Brooke @Brookie_Biaatch]

This older kid at the playground was gettin sassy with Kason and he doesn’t know he was messin with the wrong harbison lol ya welcome for redirecting him because the look in Kasons eye was who tf u talkin to like that 😑

[Brooke @Brookie_Biaatch]

@YourLitUncle Wait........NeVeR tried ranch???¿¿¿

[Hoop Fiends 🏀💉 @hoopfiends]

When you see your ex in the crowd😭😭😭

[The Spectator Index @spectatorindex]

Iran, today.

- Fired missiles at US base in Iraq

- Threatened to strike locations in Israel and the UAE

- Qassem Soleimani buried

- Ukrainian Boeing 737 with 180 passengers crashes near Tehran

- 4.9 magnitude earthquake in country's southwestern region

[Brooke @Brookie_Biaatch]

Sentences that come out of your mouth as a mom that make you think, “welp never thought I’d say that to my 3 & 4 year old.....”

“We don’t put things in our butts or anyone else’s butts.” -as Kason is trying to stick play doh in keelan’s butt hole 🤦🏻‍♀️

[Brooke @Brookie_Biaatch]

@blakenormanator Big yikes. That one backfired lol 🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼

[Brooke @Brookie_Biaatch]

@YourLitUncle It’s exhausting. And some days as miserable as it sounds. But every day worth it. 🤷🏻‍♀️ you’d be surprised how adaptable your body is surviving on such little sleep lol it’s like it just knows you have ZERO choice but to function 🤣

[Brooke @Brookie_Biaatch]

Someone Venmo me 10k so I can stop working 15 hour days for a few months 🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃