Bros in the Gym

Bros in the gym pursuing abs in the absurd

[Bros in the Gym @BrosInTheGym]

Bros rushing toward you as you squat in the rack, exclaiming, "This is no place for a hobbit!"

[Bros in the Gym @BrosInTheGym]

Bros casually scanning a Twitter feed between sets while you wait your turn, pausing occasionally to remark, "They should all be destroyed."

[Bros in the Gym @BrosInTheGym]

Bros eying the emaciated figure of a crucified Christ, scoffing, "Do you even lift?"

[Bros in the Gym @BrosInTheGym]

Bros striking a punching bag in rapidfire succession before reeling backward, swatting dizzily at air, yelling, "Snake?! Snaaaaaaaaaaaaake!"

[Bros in the Gym @BrosInTheGym]

Bros staring transfixed at your anterior deltoid as the muscle tissue becomes engorged with blood, wondering aloud, "Are you my mother?"

[Bros in the Gym @BrosInTheGym]

Bros stumbling away from a leg press machine, teary-eyed, hands clutched over mouth, then bending over to vomit an intact live turkey.

[Bros in the Gym @BrosInTheGym]

Bros leaning on the treadmill you're currently using, flexing and describing in painstaking detail the mating process of snakes.

[Bros in the Gym @BrosInTheGym]

Bros doomed to an eternity in a Malbolgian gym, intoning repeatedly and without reprieve, "If it fits your macros."

[Bros in the Gym @BrosInTheGym]

Bros challenging you to cut carbs from your diet completely, arguing, "You will be clothed with power from on high."

[Bros in the Gym @BrosInTheGym]

Bros attributing a societal lack of omega-3 dietary fats to the rapid decline of the west.

[Bros in the Gym @BrosInTheGym]

Bros stepping out from a shadowy dry sauna, bare-chested and smeared with blood from a nosebleed, crying, "MORTAL KOMBAT!"

[Bros in the Gym @BrosInTheGym]

Bros flicking a booger onto the mirror behind the dumbbell rack, booming, "Look upon my works, ye mighty, and despair."

[Bros in the Gym @BrosInTheGym]

Bros swirling blood about in a hollowed-out skull, then sampling a taste before cheerfully remarking, "If it fits your macros."

[Bros in the Gym @BrosInTheGym]

Bros emerging nude from a gym shower and slowly approaching you, then touching your elbow and whispering, "What's your protein intake like?"

[Bros in the Gym @BrosInTheGym]

Bros demanding that before you lift you must construct additional pylons.

[Bros in the Gym @BrosInTheGym]

Bros doing pull-ups in the squat rack, watching you idly wait your turn and explaining, "Fate, it seems, is not without a sense of irony."

[Bros in the Gym @BrosInTheGym]

Bros admitting beneath the whir of a treadmill to a lifelong battle with eating disorders, concluding boldly, "It's only ten manly calories"

[Bros in the Gym @BrosInTheGym]

Bros standing in a squat rack and panting into an iPhone, "Siri, when will Occam's Razor dismantle the basic assumptions of capitalism?"

[Bros in the Gym @BrosInTheGym]

Bros ingesting 2,500 mg of caffeine pre-workout before walking into the gym, eyeballs bulging, and screeching, "GOTTA GET DOWN ON FRIDAY."

[Bros in the Gym @BrosInTheGym]

Bros confusing the looming fiscal cliff with the end of a bulking phase.