Coolio Bressane

#1 ranked car keys loser worldwide

[Coolio Bressane @BrotherScrotum]

when it comes to movies, i tend to like the ones i think are good and dislike the ones i think are bad

[Coolio Bressane @BrotherScrotum]

don’t know who this is about but youtube videos already are movies

[Mr. Thank You @c0mmunicants]

Going to issue the definitive take in a few hours as to whether YouTubers are fit to make motion pictures or whether they should be hunted for sport.

[Coolio Bressane @BrotherScrotum]

I also hate advertising, but stop pretending it is both more effective and less ubiquitous than it actually is. You’re an old loser who resents younger people for still being able to have new experiences. Don’t fall into weird fascist thinking because it protects your self image.

[Coolio Bressane @BrotherScrotum]

Seeing lots of posts today where the most self-conscious 40 year olds on the planet are giving themselves paranoid schizophrenia to justify not liking the band Geese as if it were a moral victory

[groupon lobotomy @colleen_daves]

recent collages

[Coolio Bressane @BrotherScrotum]

I have thought this many times but I have only been correct twice

[sıla @criterionhouse]

yeah sex is great but have you ever watched the first five minutes of a movie and just knew it was gonna be on your top 4

[Coolio Bressane @BrotherScrotum]

@CatDoNoseRing @The_Pequod_ she came out as trans, hasn't posted on substack or twitter since march of last year but was active on letterboxd as recently as 12 days ago, that's all i got, her opinions are kinda nonsensical now but last i checked she was in the middle of film school and it'll do that to you

[Ryan Alexanderplatz @ryanhasbadtaste]

“My advice to the ICE agents parallels Tolstoy's to Russian army officers:  Apologize to the public and resign.”

— William T. Vollmann, “Among the Discarded of the World: My  Journey with William, Seven, Esker and Michael”

[Coolio Bressane @BrotherScrotum]

@DammFineCoffee I have at least been meaning to watch that one

[Coolio Bressane @BrotherScrotum]

A weird side effect of not watching TV and mostly watching older movies is that I have absolutely no idea who most famous actors are. Never heard of Josh O’Connor. Never seen Pedro Pascal in literally anything. I’m not sure Zendaya actually exists.

[Coolio Bressane @BrotherScrotum]

I know who Maya Hawke is because of Amanda Kramer’s Ladyworld and Sydney Sweeney because people tweet about her boobs

[Coolio Bressane @BrotherScrotum]

It’s only weird because lots of my friends know me as “the movie guy” and yet every day I encounter a new guy who starred in the 5 highest-grossing movies of the year and I’ve literally never heard of him or the movies before

[Coolio Bressane @BrotherScrotum]

Great example of that “Bloodlust Orientalism” I was talking about a while back

[Living Dead Boy ⚰️ @MrAllSunday030]

I imagine no one in the larger film world will care but this is very sad news for me

[Coolio Bressane @BrotherScrotum]

Is it really so impossible to believe that an incredibly prolific outsider artist is a hack? Is it so impossible to believe that monetizing the artistic process could create fraudsters even in niche spaces?

[Coolio Bressane @BrotherScrotum]

I’ve seen a lot of cinephiles on this site so desperate to separate themselves from Hollywood as an industry that they end up in a cycle of magical thinking where they’ve convinced themselves that a low budget is an indicator of artistic integrity.

[Coolio Bressane @BrotherScrotum]

The three camps I see most frequently are bloodlust orientalism (Hong Kong action movies are better than Hollywood because the stuntmen get permanently disabled on camera), Late Style obsession (starts with Miami Vice apologia), and exploitation obsession (incl. Rollin apologia)

[The Film Stage 📽 @TheFilmStage]

R.I.P. Udo Kier (1944—2025)

[The Film Stage 📽 @TheFilmStage]

RIP Homayoun Ershadi (1947—2025)

[Letterboxd @letterboxd]

Tatsuya Nakadai (1932–2025)

[Coolio Bressane @BrotherScrotum]

@colleen_daves Pneuma is a personal favorite of mine but somehow every one I have seen has been between "very good" and "all-time great," he's just got a command of light that bowls me over every time