Bruno's Quotes

Things I hear people say

[Bruno's Quotes @BrunosQuotes]

"Might mug Captain Tom and singlehandedly get hanging brought back."

[Bruno's Quotes @BrunosQuotes]

"Those willies get the piss everywhere."

[Bruno's Quotes @BrunosQuotes]

"Nothing worse than hipsters near strippers. ‘OOOH! Don't get whipped cream on that, it's PALACE!"

[Bruno's Quotes @BrunosQuotes]

"The main good bit about art is galleries is that they are full of fit arty birds and there's a cafe at the end. Take that away and you've just got paint."

[Bruno's Quotes @BrunosQuotes]

"That’s because Germany is a real country and the UK is basically a rotting shed with a paedophile living inside it."

[Bruno's Quotes @BrunosQuotes]

"Mate, you aren't a DMT guy. You are more of a GMT guy."

[Bruno's Quotes @BrunosQuotes]

"This is what happens if you have been reading Rimbaud since seven years old. You miss out on 'slap chop'."

[Bruno's Quotes @BrunosQuotes]

"Having a baby is like going to prison. But at least prison has pool tables."

[Bruno's Quotes @BrunosQuotes]

"Jody Morris simultaneously looks like a bus driver, and someone you really wouldn't want to get on your bus."

[Bruno's Quotes @BrunosQuotes]

"I bet I know where your nipples are."

[Bruno's Quotes @BrunosQuotes]

"This isn't me being mean, but he's objectively an utter failure."

[Bruno's Quotes @BrunosQuotes]

"My poor cleaning lady has untangled all the ropes hidden in the plastic bag under the bed. Leyland-brand ropes. By the way."

[Bruno's Quotes @BrunosQuotes]

"Roadblock ruined it for everyone. Robot Wars was never the same after that."

[Bruno's Quotes @BrunosQuotes]

"I feel like Brandon Lee's not been in anything for ages."

[Bruno's Quotes @BrunosQuotes]

"When my toenail came off it smelled like Subway."

[Bruno's Quotes @BrunosQuotes]

"An alice band, you know, sort of like a low-ambition fascinator?"

[Bruno's Quotes @BrunosQuotes]

"There's three things I like. The Charlatans. Super Furry Animals. And hazel nuts."

[Bruno's Quotes @BrunosQuotes]

"Everyone got a bit too brave on mushrooms and told me they hate my shoes."

[Bruno's Quotes @BrunosQuotes]

"Caterpillars don't turn into butterflies, they are butterflies inside all the time."

[Bruno's Quotes @BrunosQuotes]

"They're very late, house parties. Some go on past midnight."