Papa Scone

i seem pretty lax with my carptet.

[Papa Scone @BryanStorck]

I am an animal, hungry for weed.

[Papa Scone @BryanStorck]

Imagination brightens the future https://t.co/sqIjfI5z8W G V V ve V V

[Papa Scone @BryanStorck]

Was excited to try @ChikFilACali new Mac and cheese but was quickly disappointed when I found none in the bag. 🥺

[Papa Scone @BryanStorck]

@greengoblin @jontsak Is offering you $10 to catch one of these bombs.

[Papa Scone @BryanStorck]

Shots at the knot

[Denny’s @DennysDiner]

some kids want a car for their 16th birthday; smart kids want a truckload of pancakes for every birthday

[billiam @BillRatchet]

if stephen hawking auto tuned his shit our youth would’ve probably gotten bachelor degrees instead of face tattoos

[God @TheTweetOfGod]

It’s only been a few hours and Stephen Hawking already mathematically proved, to My face, that I don’t exist.

[Denny’s @DennysDiner]

a denny’s haiku

if you need a bath,
but you’ve got no hot water,
just use warm gravy.

[Papa Scone @BryanStorck]

Snowblowing before 10 should be a crime.

[lex 🌻 @alexissantoraaa]

The US Men’s Curling Team looks like a group of dads that were just trying to get away from their families for the weekend but somehow ended up competing in the Olympics

[Papa Scone @BryanStorck]

@SpongebobMemory @SethAmaliksen

[Papa Scone @BryanStorck]

When you take your first 700 level class. https://t.co/c147JCkxJX

[Denny’s @DennysDiner]

*skipping a pancake across a lake like a stone*

park authority: please stop

[Papa Scone @BryanStorck]

@SethAmaliksen @schuknocker #shitcall

[kaguya redemption arc @noreahs]

judge: you’re charged with jaywalking how do you plead?
me: *leans into mic* i’ll take the death penalty

[Jacob Atkins @atkins_jacob1]

Since I’m bored and 2017 was full of negative news stories, I’ve found some positive stories you probably didn’t hear about.

A thread:

[Phil Collins @PhilCollinsFeed]

If you play 'In The Air Tonight’ by Phil Collins on December 31st at 11:56:40 the drum break will play right as the clock strikes midnight. Start off your new year right.