Bryson Howard

I'm Bryson (he/him). I have now eaten oysters twice. A comedian (ostensibly) in Chicago (definitively).

[Bryson Howard @BrysonHoward]

Guy Fiyero.

[Bryson Howard @BrysonHoward]

During LA Olympics, the boxing venue should be the alley behind SUR.
#LA28

[Charli @charli_xcx]

everything is annoying

[Bryson Howard @BrysonHoward]

⚠️PSA: “Padam Padam” by Kylie Minogue actually has the exact perfect BPM for doing CPR on a circuit gay named Patrick who collapsed after doing too much ketamine on an empty stomach in the Miami heat.

[Bryson Howard @BrysonHoward]

@LasCulturistas Best Word to Scream: “INDICTMENT-WATCH!”

[Bryson Howard @BrysonHoward]

And on the third day, Mary truly couldn’t believe her eyes.

[hunter harris @hunteryharris]

snipping that invisible string

[Bryson Howard @BrysonHoward]

Britney Spears sang “monogamy is the way to go”, and she’s STILL a gay icon!

Arguably the most impressive feat of her career.

[Bryson Howard @BrysonHoward]

Really sad to learn that so many of our superheroes struggle with low self-esteem. ☹️ https://t.co/ODWRKGAIVv

[Bryson Howard @BrysonHoward]

I’m married to my career! 😋
But we didn’t sign a prenup. 😰

[Bryson Howard @BrysonHoward]

Happy Pickup Truck birthday day to all who celebrate! 🥹🥲
✨🎂🛻✨
@ComedyBangBang @drewtarver

[Bryson Howard @BrysonHoward]

A kidnapper would be LUCKY to have me! #KnowYourWorth 🤟🏻😋

[Bryson Howard @BrysonHoward]

@Calvin_Lescault Yeah… I decided nah.

[Bryson Howard @BrysonHoward]

Next year, I hope the groundhog sees Goody Proctor with the devil.

[Bryson Howard @BrysonHoward]

@_jac2017 🗣️Say THAT!🗣️

[Bryson Howard @BrysonHoward]

For those following along at home:
I cried throughout the session, and at the end my therapist asked me “… Would it be alright if I gave you a hug?…”
Can’t stress enough how I am in peak form!!!! LYLAS!

[Bryson Howard @BrysonHoward]

It’s so crazy to me that, in a few hours, I will deadass greet my therapist with “Oh, I’m doing well. You?”

Like, whaaaat?… no I’m not!
✨✌🏻😋✨

[Bryson Howard @BrysonHoward]

It’s so crazy to me that, in a few hours, I will deadass greet my therapist with “Oh, I’m doing well. You?”

Like, whaaaat?… no I’m not!
✨✌🏻😋✨

[Bryson Howard @BrysonHoward]

There really were nights when the wind was SO cold.

[Bryson Howard @BrysonHoward]

Same! BB&B stays relatable! 😋😋
https://t.co/PGxqWTwhSA

[Bryson Howard @BrysonHoward]

Benoit Blanc would’ve eaten them alive. (But maybe he and Elliott would’ve flirted first. 😋)

[Bryson Howard @BrysonHoward]

@iochicago Let’s get him out on bail before then! Starting a GoFundMe now! Would hate for him to miss opening night.