@_AegisOfWinter This was so hard.
Sam shook his head, sipping his fourth cup of coffee. And maybe his second with booze in it. He smiled sadly at Bucky.
"I think you should go find Brock. We had an argument but he was right. I love you. But I can't be everything you need."
When he first met Bucky, he never expected that thinking about life without him would be so hard. He packed up a couple bags, a backpack with snacks and Bucky's favorite water bottle and some pictures and notebooks.
He gently woke @_AegisOfWinter up, breakfast waiting for him.
@TightenTheLeash Sam didn't argue or yell. He watched the commander leave, and then sank into his chair with his face in his hands. He let out a huff of frustration, and stared at the door.
@TightenTheLeash "You sure as shit didn't stop HYDRA from using him. How many times did you watch them put him in that chair?" Sam was just as pissed, trying to reign himself in. He regretted the words as soon as he said them, nearly snapping his jaw shut. "I just...want him safe. Happy."
@TightenTheLeash "You're not much better." Sam snapped again. He tried, always, to be patient and kind but sometimes it got so hard to do that. He knew Brock was very different from Zemo, but for Bucky's healthy? They weren't much different. Were they? Sam fidgeted with his ring.
@TightenTheLeash Sam hated that he wanted to punch Brock and he hated that Brock was right, even more. He clenched his jaw and looked down, almost ashamed. "I just want him to be healthy. I don't want him to be plagued by any of that anymore. But...I see that's not how it will work."
@TightenTheLeash "Winter isn't supposed to exist." Sam snapped without realizing it. They'd tried so hard to scrub the Winter Soldier away, he'd been desperate to free Bucky from it. "But...maybe you're right..."
@TightenTheLeash He didn't put poison, he promised. Not this time.
"Yeah. And I gave up the shield because I didn't think I deserved it. Maybe...I held on to the wrong one."
@TightenTheLeash "Mm." Sam fell quiet as he went about cooking breakfast for them, sliding Brock a plate and putting one up for Bucky when he sat down. "When Steve left, he gave me two things I didn't think I was worthy of holding."
@TightenTheLeash "Mhm." Sam glared at him and then turned and pulled some eggs and bacon out of the fridge. When he faced Brock again, his voice was softer.
"He didn't have any nightmares last night, did he?"
@TightenTheLeash "I don't think I've ever played Hackysack naked." Slowly sipping his own coffee.
He'd been to the bedroom, sir. He'd needed a shower and clean clothes.