thinking about relapsing. I'm so fucking close right now. the only thing holding me back is my husband... i care about him a lot and dont want to hurt him... i still might do it though.
it feels so exhausting getting worse. i cant do anything i enjoy anymore and i feel lazy. all this work to get better, and for what? its all gonna go downhill again.
god im really resisting the urge to relapse rn, its been like 3 months of being clean but ive been left at home alone (partner is out of town for a few days). the last time they were out of town i relapsed 😞 i keep getting triggered by stupid things like cutting out foam 🙁