Forced 2 watch Buffy

My girlfriend told me I had to watch all of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, these are my honest reactions to watching the show for the first time.

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GODDAMN IT. This is a comedy episode, starring fucking shithead Xander. It's going to take more then witchcraft to make him tolerable.

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"Find me a band that sounds like a dime store Bush without Gavin Rossdale, please!" ~The Music Director, looking for Dingoes Ate My Baby.

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2.16 Bewitched. All this relationship drama is garbage: Cordelia/Xander, Giles/Techno Pagan, Angel/Spike/Dru, Angel/#buffythevampireslayer

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"Three days out of the month I'm no fun to be around either." ~Willow. Yes Joss, PMS is just like mauling people to death. #notallwerewolves

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God damn that is a dumb looking werewolf. It's a gorilla suit with a wolf head that has zero articulation.

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"Werewolves like to hunt where ever teens are in heat." TO THE BRONZE IT IS!

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Seth Green is the werewolf. Seth Green is the werewolf. Seth Green is the werewolf.

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2.15 Phases. "I am ready! I want Smoochies!" If you say smoochies I dont think you are ready Willow. #buffythevampireslayer

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DUDE please shoot Drucilla with a rocket launcher. If we go back in time and kill Drucilla maybe Zooey Deschanel will cease to exist.

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The Judge- another impossibly difficult monster of prophecy? NOPE, killed by Buffy within one episode with a rocket launcher.

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2.14 Innocence. Buffy pops her cherry, turning her BF into a hell beast. Did Kirk Cameron write this? #SlayingPains #BuffytheVampireSlayer

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Really, stupid Gypsy plotline, really?? You can curse a vampire to feel sad, but if he ever feels happy he is allowed to be evil again?

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Angel gives Buffy a Claddagh ring... which looks nearly identically to a ring my GF wears. I ask about it, she shamefully told me to Shut Up

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2.13 Surprise. Drucilla throws a party so twee, I nearly grew bangs. #buffythevampireslayer

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This episode is pretty much a dumbed down version of the ST:Next Gen ep "Conspiracy" except with no awesome head explosions.

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2.12 Bad Eggs. Another day, another Sarlac Pit opens up in Sunny D. #buffythevampireslayer

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Too many Han Solos. #FireflyInFiveWords

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"Oh, so that's how John Ritter died." ~my GF after Buffy smashes in the robot's head. #shitmygirlfriendsays

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2.11 Ted. Oh hell yes, John Ritter! Too bad it's as another Robot who falls in love with a cast member. #buffythevampireslayer

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Kendra the Vampire Slayer has the WORST Jamaican accent. It's Miss Cleo on steroids. I just read that it was fake Oh thank god!