Odd Jobs Alan

Jack of all trades, master of none, but oftentimes better than master of one. 🎃✨

[Odd Jobs Alan @Bustermarm]

Un saludo a mis alumnos que me sapean el Twitter ✌🏽

[soli @SoliSolitaires]

my boyfriend opened the house door and said “after you” so i, of course, used eruption at full power

[⚜️Sovereign⚜️ @sauvamemte]

Probably smells really crazy out there right now

[Herb Powell @BrotherofHomer]

Porque el humor necesita inteligencia

[panken - tumblr: /pankendev @pankendev]

how the fuck is "too woke" a thing people concern themselves with at all in this day and age. bro the nazis

['taph @Hypetaph]

My sweet child... nourishment, he needs

[🦎🛸🧪🦕 @666iggykoopa]

i said "i feel like (gun motion in my mouth)" and my coworker immediately said "oh uncle grandpa suicide?" how did they know

[Álvaro @alvarouch23]

Los judíos y los evangélicos jamás nos darían un lunes libre para poder ver estos partidos.

Viva la gloriosa iglesia católica.

[¡ari! ꕤ 🇲🇽 @bimbositoyaoi]

Realmente siento que esos futbolistas lo hacen a propósito para saciar sus deseos de verlo sumiso y rogando

[Mzsweetcakes aka Sweetz 🍭🫧 ♑️🦅🦅🦅 @Mzsweetcakes08]

Having a good day as an adult is literally:
• got paid
• ate something good
• nobody annoyed me
• went home”

[Michelle (Jax's wife) @demonbellez44]

POP THE AI BUBBLE

[Iranian Force @MrImranPk]

Israel is a cancer on the planet.

[Bacigalupe @bacigalupe]

El aire no es infinito. Pero vaya uno a explicarles esto.

[🍌 @peggingavi]

"dont bring politics into football"

me watching iran score on american soil

[Goomb🏳️‍🌈 @TheGoomb1]

“i voted centrist and got fascism”
this test is based af

[timothée chalamet's impregnator @indiehamlet]

this frying me he's exactly where he wants to be

[marina ☆ @callateyamarina]

top3 inventos de la humanidad
- el tinto de verano
- hatsune miku
- pokémon blanco y negro

[timothée chalamet's impregnator @indiehamlet]

undeniable face, most beautiful blonde hair since anya taylor joy and his ass fat... this is never happening to any other white man again