Definitely not Bartholomew J. Hankerson

I'm hella sensitive. Hella.

[Definitely not Bartholomew J. Hankerson @ButchCrassidy]

Daft Punk really made "Voyager." Maybe God does exist.

[Definitely not Bartholomew J. Hankerson @ButchCrassidy]

Wasn't that long ago when "Draymond opts out" somehow became "Warriors are going to trade for AD and sign LeBron as a free agent" or something like that.

[Definitely not Bartholomew J. Hankerson @ButchCrassidy]

Art is subjective but yo' ass can still have a really stupid fucking opinion about it.

[Definitely not Bartholomew J. Hankerson @ButchCrassidy]

EXTEND SYDNEY TAYLOR FOR ALL OF THE MONIES, CHICAGO SKY. RIGHT NOW.

[Definitely not Bartholomew J. Hankerson @ButchCrassidy]

Paige Bueckers is cold as FUCK.

[Definitely not Bartholomew J. Hankerson @ButchCrassidy]

I'll go to my urn screaming the trade for Rich Harden is the best acquisition in Cubs history. No one could go 5 1/3 innings of no run, 1-hit ball while striking out 10, walking 1, and throwing 107 pitches like ol' Richie.

[Definitely not Bartholomew J. Hankerson @ButchCrassidy]

All will be well when the Cubs trade their top 9 prospects for Skubal.

[Definitely not Bartholomew J. Hankerson @ButchCrassidy]

Cubs need a starting pitcher. BADLY. Of course, they'd never trade for the Mets worst starter in 2026. They just traded for the second-worst. Playing chess, muh'fuckas. Not checkers.

[Definitely not Bartholomew J. Hankerson @ButchCrassidy]

GarPax would take Iowa's Bennett Stirtz at #4 because he's a "winner."

[Definitely not Bartholomew J. Hankerson @ButchCrassidy]

Haven't owned a Pale Hose jersey since 93. I'm here for this, Mr. Getz.

[Baseball America @BaseballAmerica]

Vahn Lackey, No. 1 overall pick? 🤔

The Baseball America staff shakes up the top of the order in its latest MLB staff draft 🔀

https://t.co/U6pRB1uKe5

[Definitely not Bartholomew J. Hankerson @ButchCrassidy]

Josh Hokit: Professional piece of shit.

[Definitely not Bartholomew J. Hankerson @ButchCrassidy]

No bullshit, I'll Zelle a band to the first UFC fighter to say "Fuck Trump" in his post-fight "chat" with Joe Rogan.

[Definitely not Bartholomew J. Hankerson @ButchCrassidy]

Only thing nearly worse than this entire broadcast is seeing Joe Rogan in a shirt and tie. My God, the man even dresses like an annoying asshole.

[Definitely not Bartholomew J. Hankerson @ButchCrassidy]

I just wanna see Pereira sleep Gane. That's it. Fuck all of this other Trump slurping and jingoistic bullshit, UFC.

[Definitely not Bartholomew J. Hankerson @ButchCrassidy]

Watching Bo Nickal warm up in the Lincoln bedroom ain't doing what Dana thought it would. Fuck are you even doing, UFC 250.

[Definitely not Bartholomew J. Hankerson @ButchCrassidy]

@DiaIUpModem @sidetalknyc BONKERS.

[Definitely not Bartholomew J. Hankerson @ButchCrassidy]

I've openly disliked the Knicks since I was a little kid rooting for the Bulls in the early 90s. But as a sports fan, watching the Knicks celebrate a title is pretty incredible, regardless.

[Definitely not Bartholomew J. Hankerson @ButchCrassidy]

Holy shit the Knicks are about to be NBA champs. What in the fucking fuck.

[Definitely not Bartholomew J. Hankerson @ButchCrassidy]

OG Anunoby for Finals MVP.

[Definitely not Bartholomew J. Hankerson @ButchCrassidy]

Mr. De'Aaron Fox, what are you doing, man...

[Definitely not Bartholomew J. Hankerson @ButchCrassidy]

You go into the bottom of the 8th with a 9-1 lead and expect to win the game, right? "WAIT JUST A FREAKING MINUTE!" exclaimed the bullpen of the Washington Nationals.