Peanut Butter Seats

Quickly take off like I'm LeBron / I’d do anything for Doris Burke / Trying to align my chakras / I live and breathe Claire Saffitz grey streak

[Peanut Butter Seats @ButterSeats]

Eating asparagus til I choke bc I’m humble

[Peanut Butter Seats @ButterSeats]

You ever see someone trip and you wanna say “no one saw” but then that would defeat the purpose

[Peanut Butter Seats @ButterSeats]

sometimes I don’t know if I am doing something because it’s my own tendency or because of my gender

[Peanut Butter Seats @ButterSeats]

I rest my case #creditstoJV

[Peanut Butter Seats @ButterSeats]

Sometimes I think French people are just making it up

[Peanut Butter Seats @ButterSeats]

whoever made up that bringing an umbrella indoors is bad luck is my worst enemy

[llbll @BIH_WEE]

ITS POOP NIGHT IN BASEBALL!!!!

[Peanut Butter Seats @ButterSeats]

i actually WOULDNT be surprised if I got struck by lightning

[Peanut Butter Seats @ButterSeats]

What the hell am I gonna name my son

[Peanut Butter Seats @ButterSeats]

Farmers market is peak humanity

[Peanut Butter Seats @ButterSeats]

Need an archaeologist for these kidney stones

[Peanut Butter Seats @ButterSeats]

I now get what Bob Marley was thinking when he wrote Three Little Birds

[Peanut Butter Seats @ButterSeats]

Actually having your panties in a bunch SUCKS. #igetitnow #dontbethatguy

[Peanut Butter Seats @ButterSeats]

I hate when you really have to work for it for a toilet to flush. Like bro I don’t want you here

[Peanut Butter Seats @ButterSeats]

My kicks are too nice to be poking out from under communal stalls

[Peanut Butter Seats @ButterSeats]

SMDH EVERYTIME I TRY TO FIND ONE EMOJI IT HIDES

[Peanut Butter Seats @ButterSeats]

been a while since i took a BuzzFeed quiz

[Peanut Butter Seats @ButterSeats]

WHERE R U APOLLO OHNO
#skateskate #olympics

[Peanut Butter Seats @ButterSeats]

the Google "I'm feeling lucky button" really must be feeling that lucky #dontclick #ever

[Peanut Butter Seats @ButterSeats]

Shit if I had a random dancing button I’d be annoying as hell too

[Peanut Butter Seats @ButterSeats]

Why are bow ties historically for nerds