Mr. Slippery

Retired Hockey player. Amateur recreational saucer sled land speed record holder. I once skipped a rock 6 times. #FlowjobDynasty #LemonheadHC #26

[Mr. Slippery @Buttery_Blakes]

YO A DINOSAUR COULD HAVE STEPPED WHERE YOU'RE STANDING RIGHT NOW. THATS WILD.

[Mr. Slippery @Buttery_Blakes]

YOU MADE A DEAL WITH THE DEVIL, BUT THE DEVIL OWES ME.

[Mr. Slippery @Buttery_Blakes]

I thought Teslas were performance cars. Everyone who has on drives like a fuckin loser though.

[B/R Open Ice @BR_OpenIce]

Sidney Crosby clinched his 19th‼️ consecutive point-per-game season 🤯

Truly one of the GOATs 🐐

[Mr. Slippery @Buttery_Blakes]

Damn average of 2 min screen time a day last week. 😎😎😎

[Mr. Slippery @Buttery_Blakes]

Damn, I just want my golf clubs!!!!!

[Mr. Slippery @Buttery_Blakes]

Damn, should have booked that trip to Sedona.

[Mr. Slippery @Buttery_Blakes]

Live. Laugh. Lobotomy.

[Mr. Slippery @Buttery_Blakes]

Anyone that heats up fish in the break room at work should be sent to the gallows immediately.

[jerrett @jsani]

Auston Matthews literally did the same thing last week and no one said a word.

[Mr. Slippery @Buttery_Blakes]

@BBouks You comin with. I got a room picked out and everything. You’re gonna love it.

[Mr. Slippery @Buttery_Blakes]

Making it my mission to be living somewhere warm and snow doesn’t exist this time next year.

[Mr. Slippery @Buttery_Blakes]

@BBouks Depression a hell of a drug!

[Mr. Slippery @Buttery_Blakes]

At this point oversleeping is part of my personality.

[Mr. Slippery @Buttery_Blakes]

Arby’s is a money laundering scheme and you can’t change my mind.

[Mr. Slippery @Buttery_Blakes]

Shout out Apple for ruining my day with this bullshit “your year in photos” just an absolute dagger.

[Mr. Slippery @Buttery_Blakes]

I find it funny all the account and people leaning into the Bedard mom and Perry rumor are all like “guys spreading rumors is bad” don’t backpedal, cowards. You said it, own it.

[Matchsticks & Gasoline @MatchsticksCGY]

The Edmonton Oilers have relieved team chef Gaston Smithson.

He has been replaced with Connor McDavid’s mom because she can make the grilled cheeses just the way he wants.

Oilers are really pulling out of all of the stops to keep the NHL’s 106th best scorer happy.

[Mr. Slippery @Buttery_Blakes]

I just want my Spiritbox merch

[Mr. Slippery @Buttery_Blakes]

Finishing my arm in December then it’s time to do my legs. Sry mom.