To All American Soldiers!
We hope you’ve been informed that #IRAN is the place where Palestinian, Lebanese, Iraqi, and Yemeni fighters have mastered ground combat at a highly professional level!
You’re about to face a true master of ground warfare:
Welcome To IRAN, Habibi!
Israel started this war. Israel killed the legitimate and moderate leaders of Iran. Israel committed the genocide in Gaza. Israel has stolen the earth. Israel blackmailed Trump with Epstein files to back this war. And you are asked if Israel had the right to exist?
We hired a consulting firm to tell us why our profits are down.
They sent three 24-year-olds wearing vests.
They spent two months interviewing us about our own jobs.
Then they put our answers into a PowerPoint presentation.
They charged us $250K for this privilege.
During the final readout, one of them used the phrase synergy optimization without blinking.
I looked around the conference room.
Our CEO was nodding like he just received the Ten Commandments.
The grand conclusion was that we need to increase revenue and decrease costs.
I could've told them that for a gift card to Panera.
But nobody listens to the guy who works here.
You only listen to the guy who flies in on a Tuesday.
I'm updating my resume to include synergy optimization.
It feels like the right move.
JUST IN: 🇺🇬🇮🇱 Uganda's Military Chief says "any talk of destroying or defeating Israel will bring us into the war. On the side of Israel."
"If Tehran dares hit us with missiles. We shall retaliate with our own missiles."
The current war situation:
Trump 🇺🇸: You have 48 hours to meet our demands
Iran 🇮🇷: “We won’t”
Trump 🇺🇸: Then let’s take five days and negotiate
Iran 🇮🇷: “We’re not stopping”
Trump 🇺🇸: How about a one-month ceasefire
Iran 🇮🇷: “Not needed”
Trump 🇺🇸: Then we’ll send U.S. troops
Iran 🇮🇷: “Come closer”
All in the span of a week.
Kenya has now officially banned phones without USB Type-C charging ports, effective from March 24, 2026.
The move has created tension and panic in the market overnight, with no transition period, no warning, leaving importers and sellers scrambling
My 24-year-old friend has applied to 847 jobs in the last year.
She’s been tracking it in a spreadsheet.
She has a bachelor’s degree. A 3.8 GPA.
Two internships.
She’s gotten 12 interviews.
Three rejection emails.
The rest? Silence.
“Entry-level” jobs require 3-5 years of experience.“Competitive salary” means $35k in a city where rent is $1,800.
She’s living with her parents and working at Starbucks.
Her degree cost $80,000.
The system isn’t broken. It’s working exactly as designed.
Just not for her.
BREAKING: President Trump announces he's instructed the Department of War to "postpone any and all military strikes" against Iran's energy infrastructure for a five-day period, as negotiations continue toward a "complete and total resolution" to end hostilities in the Middle East.