BuzzFeed Comedy

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My 3 biggest fears in life:

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That moment at a restaurant when you see your food arriving.

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When you’re drunk at a party and you see your friend

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When someone eats the food you were hiding

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Me checking for abs after doing one sit-up

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Sami Khedira, taking a selfie on a safari trip

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My plans for GTA 5:Run over a copSteal his gunJack a convertibleRob a bankJump off a buildingFuck bitchesGo to GameStop and Buy GTA 5

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Hakuna Ma'Vodka It means no memories for the rest of your night

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You know it's cold when you go outside and it's cold.

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Bitch be 6'0 callin me cute ... Better add a "no homo" to the end of that ya big ass nigga

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Android users snapchat stories be like

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Listening to illegally downloaded music like

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When someone calls me by my Twitter name

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Why was this nigga never signed

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"Yeah mom I got to play today!"

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She gotta be teacher of the year 😂