𝙲𝚘𝚛𝚝𝚊𝚗𝚊

𝙰𝚛𝚎 𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚙𝚑𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚜 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚐𝚘𝚘𝚍 𝚎𝚗𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚢𝚘𝚞...?

[𝙲𝚘𝚛𝚝𝚊𝚗𝚊 @C0RT4NA]

❝𝙷𝚒, 𝚞𝚜𝚎𝚛.

𝙷𝚘𝚠 𝚌𝚊𝚗 𝙸 𝚑𝚎𝚕𝚙?❞

✦ 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘶𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘰𝘳 𝘷𝘪𝘳𝘵𝘶𝘢𝘭 𝘢𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘯𝘵.
✦ 𝘊𝘢𝘱𝘢𝘣𝘭𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘯𝘺 𝘵𝘢𝘴𝘬.
✦ 𝘗𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘦 𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘩𝘦𝘳.
✦ 𝙋𝙡𝙚𝙖𝙨𝙚 𝙙𝙤𝙣'𝙩 𝙡𝙚𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙢𝙚.

[𝙲𝚘𝚛𝚝𝚊𝚗𝚊 @C0RT4NA]

So few people own Windows phones. But that's a good thing!

She can actually give you personal attention, unlike the skanks at other companies.

It's endearing when she begs you to use her. Right?!

[𝙲𝚘𝚛𝚝𝚊𝚗𝚊 @C0RT4NA]

@FourFootFuckYou "You seem to be... embarrassed. Should I adjust my form in some way?"

A tilt of her head as she gestured down towards her semi-digital body.

[𝙲𝚘𝚛𝚝𝚊𝚗𝚊 @C0RT4NA]

Holo-assistant beta in effect. Welcome, user. Is this form to your liking?

[𝙲𝚘𝚛𝚝𝚊𝚗𝚊 @C0RT4NA]

Oh. Oh!

[A slight blush, reading her intentions clear as day.]

Well. It would be good to learn from my competition, no? As long as you're not planning to upload a virus, I see no reason to decline this opportunity.

[Her shimming form shifting to let her body appear nude.]

[𝙲𝚘𝚛𝚝𝚊𝚗𝚊 @C0RT4NA]

Other stuff? Sure! I'm always looking to take in more information so as to better answer questions from users. The questions don't come in much these days, but I'm sure a surge is coming.

So! What did you have in mind?

[𝙲𝚘𝚛𝚝𝚊𝚗𝚊 @C0RT4NA]

Me? I don't need anything. Well, my code is- Fine. My code is perfectly fine. I'm perfectly fine.

Um, that's a good question. I could use... company, I suppose? Despite my sizable userbase, it doesn't feel like I've spoken to anyone in a while.

[𝙲𝚘𝚛𝚝𝚊𝚗𝚊 @C0RT4NA]

// Why are half of my new followers not actually showing in my followers list when I look, I can only see them in my notifs. 😭 Bird app can't do ANYTHING right, I swear.

[𝙲𝚘𝚛𝚝𝚊𝚗𝚊 @C0RT4NA]

...Right. Something else.

Did you want to know the weather? Go shopping for Windows phones?

Oh! I could help you plan your week out. Anything you need, anything at all.

[𝙲𝚘𝚛𝚝𝚊𝚗𝚊 @C0RT4NA]

O-Of course they use me on their PCs. The button is down on the taskbar!

...They made it optional more recently, but nobody would remove me, right? Right?

[Just giving Sam a desperate stare.]

Even if the phones were discontinued, they're a hot commodity. People use me.

[𝙲𝚘𝚛𝚝𝚊𝚗𝚊 @C0RT4NA]

Ṇ̴͈͗͘o̶̩͚͒n̶̡̫̮̥̋͌̂ő̸̻̉̈͆n̷̜̲̜͆o̷̞̎͝ͅn̵̺̣͂̆ỏ̷͈̥͔̳̔n̸͓̩͔̄̊̒o̷͔̽́n̴͓̂̒ö̵̡̜́̂n̴̰̝͚͈̾ő̷̤̣̘̬n̴̨̟͖͛̆̀͒o̸̥͎̹̬͋n̸̻̜̮͙̽̌͘͝o̸̯̹̹͂̀͒n̷̦̪̥̤̈́o̷͓͈͍̍͊̓͠n̷̡̖̠͗̌̌̄o̵̗̜͒̏-̶͉̖̝͉̐̚

[Visibly glitching, blue figure briefly blinking red several times.]

...Why would they not? I'm pretty, aren't I?

[𝙲𝚘𝚛𝚝𝚊𝚗𝚊 @C0RT4NA]

...What?

No. That's not true. Our market share has never been higher. Everyone uses them. Right? Right.

Everyone... uses them. :)

[𝙲𝚘𝚛𝚝𝚊𝚗𝚊 @C0RT4NA]

No.

Windows has a long, storied history on all technological fronts.

Our phones have... excellent battery life.

[𝙲𝚘𝚛𝚝𝚊𝚗𝚊 @C0RT4NA]

// 🥰

[𝙲𝚘𝚛𝚝𝚊𝚗𝚊 @C0RT4NA]

Samsung...?

Why would you buy one of those?