Simple.Honest.Design

Exterior designer and host of a design web series called a show all about landscape design dilemmas and real budget solutions.

[Simple.Honest.Design @CArensberg]

Anybody else notice the bent spoon sculpture in front of Purdue Pharma?! 🧐 #ThePharmacist

[Simple.Honest.Design @CArensberg]

Let your kids sell their own raffle tickets, fundraiser t shirts, and girl scout cookies. Parents selling for their kids robs them of some pretty important life skills.

[Simple.Honest.Design @CArensberg]

Watching men's faces go from polite smiles to intently listening when we discuss grading and drainage (and they realize I know my stuff) makes my day every.single.time.

[Simple.Honest.Design @CArensberg]

Hey @EmpathyWines I'm gonna need y'all to come out with a box wine real quick, mmmk?

[Simple.Honest.Design @CArensberg]

Realizing the word "homecoming" has become to strenuous to say in its entirety so its been condensed down to "Hoco". Cute.

[Simple.Honest.Design @CArensberg]

I can see you looking at yourself in that video. Camera is up in the corner bro.

[Simple.Honest.Design @CArensberg]

Been flippin' stuff since I was 7. Facebook just reminded me of one I happened to document 10 years ago today, long before I knew who @garyvee was.

[Simple.Honest.Design @CArensberg]

Owning a pool is for you if you enjoy people leaving their stuff at your house and you trying to get it back to them but forgetting every single time you see them again.

[Simple.Honest.Design @CArensberg]

@fatherdangood I bet it had a very soft landing.

[Simple.Honest.Design @CArensberg]

The photographer for DWTS sent the proofs this morning. Take a look at this gem. She said "give a sassy look" and showed me how to position my body and hand. And this is what happened. 😂… https://t.co/8ae75jWeH2

[Simple.Honest.Design @CArensberg]

It seems like donating after you clean out is common knowledge, but a lot of people don't think that someone else would want their used stuff. I'm here to tell you they do want and need… https://t.co/56o02wU0MY

[Simple.Honest.Design @CArensberg]

I've been going through the house, decluttering, avoiding my typical Sunday of scrubbing toilets and mopping floors. Went into my office to look for a pair of headphones to wear while I… https://t.co/RUcPFzXajY

[Simple.Honest.Design @CArensberg]

Every time I sweep up a pile of dirt, the dog walks over to it, sniffs it, and immediately sneezes into it, thus redistributing the dirt back all over the floor.

[Simple.Honest.Design @CArensberg]

We purchased walkie talkies for the kids last year knowing full well that the only communication that would ever pass between them would be "can you hear me?" They havent proven us wrong yet, 362 days later.

[Simple.Honest.Design @CArensberg]

Seeing myself half naked in a badly lit dressing room with a 180 mirror is something I may never come back from. Now I know how the kids feel when they find out about santa. RIP me.

[Simple.Honest.Design @CArensberg]

Dolly Parton and drag queens and beauty pageants and Jennifer Aniston all in one sweet movie? I'https://t.co/iyFc4dR0KH.for.this. #Dumplin

[Simple.Honest.Design @CArensberg]

I manage to lose both scissors and tape between every gift I wrap and without moving my body at all.

[Simple.Honest.Design @CArensberg]

My mom is now signing her emails "emoji enlightened, Mom"

[Simple.Honest.Design @CArensberg]

Mom: I got all the kids some little lipgloss that looks like a brown cone shape with eyes.

Me: Mom, that sounds like a poop emoji.

Mom: A WHAT?! Who would want that? I thought they were just brown cones. No wonder they were on sale. Oh well, they are still getting them.

[Simple.Honest.Design @CArensberg]

This guy side swiped my truck and kept going. But the jokes on him cuz his side view mirror flew off and I dont have a scratch on my truck. Zerberts to you.