CELEBRITY DEATHMATCH

TWO ENTER. ONE DIES.

[CELEBRITY DEATHMATCH @CELEBRITY_DM]

coming soon...

[CELEBRITY DEATHMATCH @CELEBRITY_DM]

JOHNNY CARSON, WITH THEIR SCYTHE, SEES ASHLEY TISDALE IN THE BLUE CORNER, STRETCHING FINGERS AND PALMS. SOME HAVE BINOCULARS READY. AT 96S INTO THE MATCH, ASHLEY TISDALE IS MORTALLY WOUNDED, INSIDES LAID BARE. THE VERY FABRIC OF THE GAME HAS CHANGED!

[CELEBRITY DEATHMATCH @CELEBRITY_DM]

KEVIN SMITH, WITH THEIR MORNINGSTAR, SEES ANDY RICHTER IN THE RED CORNER, TESTING THE ROPES. HOPES AND DREAMS HANG IN THE BALANCE. AT 82S INTO THE GAME, ANDY RICHTER MEETS A HARROWING END, INSIDES OUT. HISTORY HAS BEEN MADE TONIGHT.

[CELEBRITY DEATHMATCH @CELEBRITY_DM]

CHARLES MANSON, WITH THEIR GLAIVE, SEES BARRY MANILOW IN THE RED CORNER, PRACTICING CLINCH HOLDS. FANS ARE ARMED WITH CAMERAS AND PHONES. AT 59S INTO THE MATCH, BARRY MANILOW FACES THE ABYSS, SPINE SEVERED. A PERFORMANCE BEYOND COMPREHENSION!

[CELEBRITY DEATHMATCH @CELEBRITY_DM]

JOEY BADA$$, WITH THEIR FLAMING SWORD, SEES ROBERT PLANT IN THE BLUE CORNER, WIGGLING FINGERS AS IF CASTING A SPELL. THE VENUE IS ALIVE WITH SPIRIT. AT 3S INTO THE FIGHT, ROBERT PLANT IS SHREDDED, A BRUTAL END. THE STARS HAVE REALIGNED AFTER THAT!

[CELEBRITY DEATHMATCH @CELEBRITY_DM]

ANDY SERKIS, WITH THEIR ICE BOMB, SEES TAYLOR LAUTNER IN THE BLUE CORNER, FLEXING FOR THE AUDIENCE. THE VENUE IS A THEATER OF DREAMS. AT 135S INTO THE STRUGGLE, TAYLOR LAUTNER IS DISMEMBERED, A GRIM TABLEAU. THE WEIGHT OF THAT CAN'T BE SHAKEN OFF.

[CELEBRITY DEATHMATCH @CELEBRITY_DM]

EVA LONGORIA, WITH THEIR PSIONIC SCEPTER, SEES WES ANDERSON IN THE RED CORNER, GESTURING AT THEIR OPPONENT PROVOCATIVELY. THE CROWD SWAYS WITH IMPATIENCE. AT 78S INTO THE SHOWMATCH, EVA LONGORIA IS BLUDGEONED, UNRECOGNIZABLE. THE GAME STANDS STILL, AS WE MOURN.

[CELEBRITY DEATHMATCH @CELEBRITY_DM]

BILLY JOEL, WITH THEIR ICE BOMB, SEES QUINCY JONES IN THE RED CORNER, SPINNING THEIR MOUTH GUARD. THE MOOD IS INTENSE. AT 102S INTO THE MATCH, QUINCY JONES FALLS TO DARKNESS, BODY MARRED. TALK ABOUT A PARADIGM SHIFT!

[CELEBRITY DEATHMATCH @CELEBRITY_DM]

FAITH HILL, WITH THEIR WAND, SEES BRIGHAM YOUNG IN THE RED CORNER, MIMICKING FIGHT STANCES. FANS ARE ARMED WITH CAMERAS AND PHONES. AT 102S INTO THE JOUST, FAITH HILL MEETS A HARROWING END, INSIDES OUT. PURE ADRENALINE FROM START TO FINISH!

[CELEBRITY DEATHMATCH @CELEBRITY_DM]

BETTE MIDLER, WITH THEIR BRASS KNUCKLES, SEES SHARON STONE IN THE BLUE CORNER, ADJUSTING THEIR WRIST STRAPS. FANS ARE LOST IN FERVENT DISCUSSIONS. AT 134S INTO THE COMBAT, SHARON STONE IS QUARTERED IN A BRUTAL DISPLAY. SOMEONE, WAKE ME UP FROM THIS DREAM!

[CELEBRITY DEATHMATCH @CELEBRITY_DM]

JERRY LEWIS, WITH THEIR CHRONOMANCER'S HOURGLASS, SEES HELENA BONHAM CARTER IN THE BLUE CORNER, EVALUATING THE RING SIZE. THE ARENA IS A POWDER KEG OF ANTICIPATION. AT 115S INTO THE MELEE, JERRY LEWIS IS BLUDGEONED, UNRECOGNIZABLE. A WOUND THAT TIME MIGHT NEVER HEAL.

[CELEBRITY DEATHMATCH @CELEBRITY_DM]

JOHN ADAMS, WITH THEIR GIANT SLINGSHOT, SEES LUCILLE BALL IN THE RED CORNER, WHISPERING TO THEIR CORNERMAN. THE FERVOR REACHES A FEVER PITCH. AT 99S INTO THE BOUT, JOHN ADAMS IS ASPHYXIATED IN A CRUEL TWIST. THE SPORT, FOREVER CHANGED BY THIS EVENT.

[CELEBRITY DEATHMATCH @CELEBRITY_DM]

TINA TURNER, WITH THEIR TEMPLAR'S HALBERD, SEES KURT COBAIN IN THE BLUE CORNER, OFFERING A CHEEKY WAVE TO OPPONENT. THE FERVOR IS CONTAGIOUS. AT 4S INTO THE TRIAL, TINA TURNER IS SILENCED FOREVER, JAW SHATTERED. THE ARENA IS REELING FROM THAT BLOW!

[CELEBRITY DEATHMATCH @CELEBRITY_DM]

MATTHEW BRODERICK, WITH THEIR CHAKRAM, SEES LIONEL RICHIE IN THE BLUE CORNER, FEEDING OFF CROWD ENERGY. SOME PRACTICE THE WAVE, WAITING. AT 36S INTO THE CLASH, LIONEL RICHIE MEETS THE VOID, LUNGS COLLAPSED. A CLIMAX BEYOND ANYONE'S WILDEST DREAMS!

[CELEBRITY DEATHMATCH @CELEBRITY_DM]

RICK RUBIN, WITH THEIR RAINBOW LASER, SEES CHARLES BARKLEY IN THE BLUE CORNER, PRACTICING SPINNING KICKS. SOME CLOSE THEIR EYES, HOPING. AT 72S INTO THE FEUD, CHARLES BARKLEY MEETS A CRUEL TWIST OF FATE, HEADLESS. THE BAROMETER HAS BEEN SHATTERED!

[CELEBRITY DEATHMATCH @CELEBRITY_DM]

LANCE ARMSTRONG, WITH THEIR CURSED SWORD, SEES LISA KUDROW IN THE RED CORNER, ENSURING ALL GEAR IS SECURE. POCKETS OF LOUD DEBATES BREAK OUT. AT 52S INTO THE FIGHT, LISA KUDROW DROWNS IN A POOL OF THEIR OWN BLOOD. WORDS FAIL IN THE FACE OF SUCH EVENTS.

[CELEBRITY DEATHMATCH @CELEBRITY_DM]

JADA PINKETT SMITH, WITH THEIR JETPACK, SEES HEATHER LOCKLEAR IN THE BLUE CORNER, SIZING UP THEIR COMPETITION. THE CHATTER RISES AND FALLS. AT 139S INTO THE ROUND, HEATHER LOCKLEAR GETS A LETHAL PUNCTURE, RIBS BROKEN IN. CATACLYSMIC EVENTS IN THE RING TODAY!

[CELEBRITY DEATHMATCH @CELEBRITY_DM]

HUNTER SCHAFER, WITH THEIR DOUBLE-HEADED AXE, SEES CLINT EASTWOOD IN THE RED CORNER, MAKING A "CALL ME" GESTURE TO THE FANS. WILD PREDICTIONS CIRCULATE. AT 143S INTO THE SHOWMATCH, CLINT EASTWOOD FADES AWAY, SKULL FRACTURED. A SHOCK TO THE VERY SOUL OF THE SPORT!

[CELEBRITY DEATHMATCH @CELEBRITY_DM]

LAURENCE FISHBURNE, WITH THEIR FLAMETHROWER, SEES JAY-Z IN THE RED CORNER, INSPECTING THE FIGHT CAGE OR RING CONDITION. THE ENERGY IS ALMOST OVERWHELMING. AT 19S INTO THE DOGFIGHT, LAURENCE FISHBURNE CHOKES ON THEIR OWN BLOOD. THEY'VE OUTDONE THEMSELVES THIS TIME.

[CELEBRITY DEATHMATCH @CELEBRITY_DM]

JAMES MARSDEN, WITH THEIR RUNEBLADE, SEES FERGIE IN THE RED CORNER, SWIPING SWEAT OFF THEIR BROW. THE PASSION IS TANGIBLE. AT 83S INTO THE TANGLE, FERGIE WRITHES, VENOM COURSING VEINS. A HAUNTING MEMORY FOR THE ARENA.

[CELEBRITY DEATHMATCH @CELEBRITY_DM]

ALEISTER CROWLEY, WITH THEIR GEOMANCER'S RUNE STONE, SEES SERENA WILLIAMS IN THE RED CORNER, POUNDING THEIR CHEST. THE MOOD IS INDESCRIBABLE. AT 69S INTO THE COLLISION, ALEISTER CROWLEY MEETS THE BLADE, LIFE DRAINING RAPIDLY. AN EVENT HORIZON IN THE GAME!