Camila Cabello via Email π§ π
'I never thought Saturn return was a real thing until I went through it. You know when you're in the ocean as kid and it becomes its own little game to jump with the waves or to swim under them? You and the ocean are doing this perfect, flowy improvised choreography. This year has sometimes felt like the time I underestimated the strength of the waves and kept getting sucked back in, and sand all in my hair and my knee scraped against the ocean floor and i couldn't find my footing, and can I pls just get on a sun bed and order a margarita. Today, i am turning 29, so I'd like to write down for myself some of the things I've learned from this trip around the sun, and share it with you, not so much as advice, but so maybe we can all swallow saltwater and have stingy eyes and sand in our hair, together, while we learn how to ride the waves.
1. Keep your word. I used to cancel plans last minute, friends would get annoyed, i told myself i was tired or i wouldn't be fun in this mood anyways. But i tried this year to keep my word 99% of the time-if I'm tired, if i'm anxious, if I don't wanna go anymore, i still show up-and it makes me like myself more, and always ends up making me feel better..because part of what heals anxiety or depression i truly think is a sense of responsibility to others. When you don't feel like it, you show up for them. And, paradoxically, it can change how you feel!
2. It is so important to feel cute! beauty is truly a spiritual practice. It's an active way of saying you are not just surviving, you're enjoying, you're playing, you're peacocking, you're flirting with life!
3. "I'm not creative" it makes me sad when people say this. Creativity is a practice, not necessarily a quality. if you are sitting at a desk adding numbers most of the time of course you will think you're not "creative"- go play piano or write a bad song for fun or write a short story about the time you broke your elbow in 5th grade. Even creative people don't always feel creative, creativity is a practice!
4. Creativity humbles you. One day i feel like songs are flowing out of me like a river stream, other days i think i am the worst of all time. It teaches you about surrendering to something greater, and continuing to just show up and do the work.
5. All qualities you love in people are just practices, confidence is a practice, calm is a practice, sensuality is a practice, silliness is a practice, and they are all available to us if we have an intention to cultivate them.
6. Be hopeful, always, but talk about reality more and more openly. Yes we're going to age and get wrinkly and sick and yes we only have one life and yes things could go horribly wrong tomorrow and yes this date could go horribly. This mentality paradoxically protects you from anxiety.
7. Leave in conditioner, bond treatment, Hair oil, Wellbel vitamins, hair gloss once a month. not an ad but growing my hair is my part time job.
8. social media is a cute place to express yourself and find people that you like. But when i just use it mindlessly or worse, to compare or see how i rank in the social hierarchy, it just becomes a waste of time and end up obsessing over people who aren't even thinking about me and it should ALWAYS be the other way around.
9. "Not my journey". This is my new slogan you guys. someone is having way more success than me and I'm comparing myself "not my journey", an ex friend who i want to stalk on instagram who is no longer in my life "not my journey". Basically it's my way of saying this is irrelevant to me!! Ok they're doing this, ok they're dating this person- they are not in my life, therefore not relevant to me at all βnot my journey!!!!". It kinda makes stalking them feel useless like how is this gonna make ME happier or closer to my dreams.
10. How you spend your days is how you spend your life. i sometimes would go so long working for the next thing, putting off that hike or reading that novel for when things were more relaxed or always stressed about something, life is NOW! so laugh during the hard parts, order the cocktail, have the night out during the busy month. this ain't the dress rehearsal. IT'S THE SHOW QUEEN.
11. The best part about achieving something is not the achievement, it's the person you become in the process. The best part about telling yourself i'm going to run this many miles in this many minutes or i'm going to write this book, is not when you actually do it. That is just a moment and like any other moment how you feel is fleeting but what you learn about yourself along the way, the skills your build, the discipline; the mental toughness who you become... that is the real prize.
12. You don't have to have anything figured out to keep living. Uncertainty is survivable 2026.
13. Perfection is your enemy. Imperfect action beats perfect inaction every time!
14. Kindles have made me read way more i like looking up the words. I don't know i said what i said.
15. Don't be afraid of saying what you mean to your partner. Be afraid of wasting your precious time by not communicating what you really want and need.
16. Letterboxd best app ever for cinephiles, Goodreads, substack, Pinterest, all the non-evil social medias stand up.
17. Please don't bleach your hair if you have dark hair. Or if you do. Know you will look cunty for a week and then it'll look like urine and the path back to recovery is long and perilous.
18. Don't fake laugh, life is too short and it's too exhausting.
19. "Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage." As someone who has struggled with ocd/ anxiety i see this happen a lot in my life. When i say yes to things, and i keep moving forward my life expands and new experiences come my way - when I self-protect or wait till I'm certain my life shrinks.
20. Don't date someone for their qualities, date someone for how they make you feel. Who cares if he's 6'3 and hot and charming if he makes you feel insecure and anxious all the time lmao.
21. COTTAGE CHEESE IS THE TRUTH. Cottage cheese with honey and salt and almonds. Cottage cheese with eggs and hot sauce. Cottage cheese on enchiladas. Honestly sign me up for the cottage cheese cult.
22. Sacheu lip stain not an ad but i over line my lips and it's like permanent lip liner.
23. Wellness doesn't mean skinny. Some people who look amazing feel like shit and abuse their bodies. THAT AIN'T THE VIBE.
24. If you are around this age, get your bloodwork done and check your hormones !! Some freaky stuff goin on sometimes (my cortisol was high thanks fame!)
25. Meditation/ mindfulness is like training for life.
26. Your life is as joyful and expansive as your relationships. Say yes to that new friend wanting to hang out!!! Go have a game night with your friends! PEOPLE ARE THE BEST PART OF LIFE, we forget in our hustle gogogo culture. (And i sometimes am just introverted and wanna be in my house lmao.)
27. Find silly niche hobbies that you cannot monetize or post or be productive or good at. Mine is junk journaling. It reminds me the goal of life isn't just outcome it's process and joy and simply having fun.
28. Don't be the reason someone loses their faith in humanity. Be kind to strangers! Do the right thing when no one is looking just to not add to the bad dark vibes. Add a little bit to the sweet soft vibes.
29. Being a human isn't easy. give yourself grace. grace for your shortcomings, for your chemical imbalances, for your mistakes. maybe the softer things - grace and letting go - are the real strengths after all.
I love you guys. i am so thankful for all the memories we've created and for you being there for me through my journey. i can't wait for our many more adventures! Love you.