Charles Hawtree

As Virginia Woolf once told me: Vote Green. Considerably cleverer than you. Anointed saviour of Hove. Beige. Not a spoof. Rather a parody.

[Charles Hawtree @CHawtree]

But not a book from Hove Library!

[Charles Hawtree @CHawtree]

The Sackville Tower. An unwanted erection. Throw the book at it. #hovehaikus

[Charles Hawtree @CHawtree]

The last book @peterkyle read required crayons. No wonder he hates the Library and all the dusty tomes. He likes computers and jumpers.

[Charles Hawtree @CHawtree]

Give beige a chance. I'm saving Hove Library. I'm doing it. I'M DOING IT. AMEN. SAVE HOVE LIBRARY. Peter Kyle is wearing a t-shirt. Pfttt.

[Charles Hawtree @CHawtree]

Web terminals for the internets? Get rid of one and we could double Virginia Woolf capacity. Terror bites.

[Charles Hawtree @CHawtree]

Cost savings to save the Hove Library? Take out the internet. The space it takes up is a nonsense. We could get more stacks in.

[Charles Hawtree @CHawtree]

Look skywards Hovists. The pratman call sign shines into the sky, disappointedly close to Mile Oik. For I have come to save Hove Library.

[Charles Hawtree @CHawtree]

@TheSussexSquare @bhcitynews @chrishawtree We shut the mobile library G-Dog. It was just a sop to those too lazy to go to a proper library.

[Charles Hawtree @CHawtree]

Tights on. Pants on. Over tights. Beige cape fluttering in the wind. (Five bean curry.) I'm back! To SAVE HOVE LIBRARY. Zooooooom!

[Charles Hawtree @CHawtree]

Toodle pip. Until next time.

[Charles Hawtree @CHawtree]

@SvenRufus Yes, I have won.

[Charles Hawtree @CHawtree]

Reports of my defeat have been greatly exaggerated.

[Charles Hawtree @CHawtree]

Hove: Green Gain.

[Charles Hawtree @CHawtree]

I bet @peterkyle is gutted that he hasn't consulted the haruspices. More fool him. I have. I shall be MP for the EARTTTHHHHH!

[Charles Hawtree @CHawtree]

Don't forget. If you're voting Green, polling day is Thursday, Everyone else, Friday.

[Charles Hawtree @CHawtree]

My contribution at the local NHS hustings really got got pulses racing.

[Charles Hawtree @CHawtree]

@SteveAkehurst It can't yurt.

[Charles Hawtree @CHawtree]

I SHALL BE MP FOR THE EARTH! (But not the rough bit up by Fishersgate.)

[Charles Hawtree @CHawtree]

The good people of Hove will elect me because I'm their saviour. More plugs in the library. More quips on the doorsteps. More beige.

[Charles Hawtree @CHawtree]

There are no no go areas for me in Hove. Apart from Sportslade (grey tracksuits), Appaldrington, Mile Oik and Hangleton (bungalows).