Funny Tweets!

Laughing for 10 minutes a day is good for your abs and muscles, follow me for an intense workout!

[Funny Tweets! @CIowning]

Fact: High school isn't as fun as it appears to be on TV.

[Funny Tweets! @CIowning]

Cashier: "Have a nice day" Me: "Don't tell me what to do!!"

[Funny Tweets! @CIowning]

When I was a kid, I wanted to be older. This shit was not what I expected.

[Funny Tweets! @CIowning]

Current emotion: I need money.

[Funny Tweets! @CIowning]

*Picks up phone* "Hey it's me." "I don't know who the fuck me is."

[Funny Tweets! @CIowning]

me during the summer: is today wednesday or sunday..

[Funny Tweets! @CIowning]

I wish there was a pen that could copy and paste.

[Funny Tweets! @CIowning]

Why people use Twitter: because updating 0 times a day on Facebook is not socially acceptable..

[Funny Tweets! @CIowning]

me everyday at any time to everyone ever: I'm so tired

[Funny Tweets! @CIowning]

Having a dirty mind makes life a lot more fun..

[Funny Tweets! @CIowning]

That one best friend that turned into a stranger.

[Funny Tweets! @CIowning]

Saying "What" but then 1 second later realizing what they said.

[Funny Tweets! @CIowning]

I have a date tonight, with my bed. We're totally gonna sleep together.

[Funny Tweets! @CIowning]

That awkward moment when you hear something that kills you inside, but you have to act like you're fine...

[Funny Tweets! @CIowning]

That awkward moment when you're singing at the top of your lungs... and then you forget the lyrics..

[Funny Tweets! @CIowning]

MOM: "Where did you learn to drive like that?" ME: "Grand Theft Auto"

[Funny Tweets! @CIowning]

"I'll be there in 5 minutes... If not, read this again."

[Funny Tweets! @CIowning]

Twitter...because our parents joined Facebook.

[Funny Tweets! @CIowning]

"Hi, would you like a table?" "No, not at all. Carpet for 5 please."

[Funny Tweets! @CIowning]

How fucked up would it be if the last sentence of the last Harry Potter book was"And then Harry woke up back in his bed under the staircase"