Cameron Jacobsen

Can't do a backflip

[Tom Hanks @tomhanks]

Heading to an off ramp with one flip flop takes awhile, no? Hanx.

[Cameron Jacobsen @CJacobsen1193]

@RealAustenPopp Liar.

[Cameron Jacobsen @CJacobsen1193]

@RealAustenPopp It was average yet you finished the entire series in less than a month...

[Cameron Jacobsen @CJacobsen1193]

@TapleyJessica Aw, I miss you too!!

[Cameron Jacobsen @CJacobsen1193]

@RealAustenPopp Hey look Mr. Cool Guy Unpopular Opinion is back at it. Pay attention everyone!!

[Cameron Jacobsen @CJacobsen1193]

@nessifyanasty

[Dave @lildickytweets]

It'll have to be handjobs only until they find the cure for Super Gonorrhea

[Cameron Jacobsen @CJacobsen1193]

@jillthethriill One of my classmates used to get up, walk to the trash, pick it up, spit gum in it, and sit down like nothing happened..

[Cameron Jacobsen @CJacobsen1193]

@BrassLikeThat I responded and gave sage advice is what I'm trying to say here

[Cameron Jacobsen @CJacobsen1193]

@BrassLikeThat Liar

[Cameron Jacobsen @CJacobsen1193]

@ChefGringo1230 @N1ckatNight @_shaunaaaaaaa Chucky from Rugrats is a Finster. Hope this helps!

[Cameron Jacobsen @CJacobsen1193]

@reincarmation WTF with Marc Maron! He's interviewed almost anyone you can think of

[Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome]

Elementary math under Betsy Devos
Q: Ned and Sheryl each have 4 apples. Who has more apples?
A: Whomever Mike Pence decides has more apples.

[Cameron Jacobsen @CJacobsen1193]

@TapleyJessica @ChefGringo1230 @tliolios neither do I!!!

[Cameron Jacobsen @CJacobsen1193]

@ChefGringo1230 @tliolios @TapleyJessica ahhh hahahahha hahaha

[Cameron Jacobsen @CJacobsen1193]

@TapleyJessica @tliolios Jesus Christ hahah

[Sage Francis @SageFrancis]

I'm really not one to shout "false flag!" or "they're distracting us from the REAL issues", but this cabs Vs Uber Vs Lyft shit is silly.

[Mike Birbiglia @birbigs]

A note about @dontthinkmovie. Please RT if you like the movie. Hoping this will be like that one Ellen tweet. https://t.co/JFQSHKtbWt

[Cameron Jacobsen @CJacobsen1193]

@lildickytweets I really hope we have a dope Hanukkah song dropping soon

[Cameron Jacobsen @CJacobsen1193]

It's not just a vote for Trump https://t.co/VbCG2O2u1L