Chris Jenkins

Amatuer Comedian in the LA area. Proletariat sandwich.

[Chris Jenkins @CJenkinsComedy]

In the end, it was man who depleted the earth’s water supplies, but it was the deciding blow against the water chestnut.

[Chris Jenkins @CJenkinsComedy]

The trailer for the new Air Bud film is horrible. Looks like the films are finally going to start sucking https://t.co/aWUpFFxDgl

[Us Weekly @usweekly]

This is amazing! Watch Johnny Depp and Amber Heard's dog smuggling apology video: https://t.co/ILaQrMoohX

[Chris Jenkins @CJenkinsComedy]

God is love: the decline of white men in pro tennis

[Chris Jenkins @CJenkinsComedy]

Thinking of our special star MJ on this day for viti #ligo awareness

[Chris Jenkins @CJenkinsComedy]

Not all gyros where crepes.

[Chris Jenkins @CJenkinsComedy]

Diabetic man finds clothes stuck to ground gets help from famous actress. Glucose challenged glued clothes man befriends Glen Close.

[Chris Jenkins @CJenkinsComedy]

.@alphabetinc uh wtf is this http://t.co/lQSUv8fJHE

[Chris Jenkins @CJenkinsComedy]

I really hate false dichotomies. Fav for agree. Fav for disagree.

[Chris Jenkins @CJenkinsComedy]

19 counts for kidding.

[Chris Jenkins @CJenkinsComedy]

So glad I listened to my broker about investing in CDs. Stoked about this AOL acquisition!

[Chris Jenkins @CJenkinsComedy]

The great thing about selfie sticks is that you get to perform your own colonoscopy after showing it to your friends!

[Chris Jenkins @CJenkinsComedy]

I wonder what Koreans think happens when you shut a personal fan inside a vampire’s coffin.

[Chris Jenkins @CJenkinsComedy]

.@HollisterCo is ur name Hollister cuz u take one tiny pair of cutoff jeans and heavily dilute it with douchebag?

[Chris Jenkins @CJenkinsComedy]

Imagine the moral dilemma if the best qualified astronaut for a space elevator mission is black.

[Chris Jenkins @CJenkinsComedy]

You ever wonder if anal bleaching started with one overachieving dentist?

[Chris Jenkins @CJenkinsComedy]

Just got my rebirth certificate in the mail!! http://t.co/SB0x2O2BRx

[Chris Jenkins @CJenkinsComedy]

A President slayed is a penny urned.

[Chris Jenkins @CJenkinsComedy]

How many burglars does it take to make a surprise party?

[Chris Jenkins @CJenkinsComedy]

Gotta hand it to Milton Bradley for dropping “in your family is a racist, sexist pig” off of “Guess Who.” Just rolls off the tongue better.

[Chris Jenkins @CJenkinsComedy]

Movie idea: Russian mail order bride leaves her husband to pursue a career in motocross: Anna Karenininiiiiiiniiiiina