@kanyewest needs to be in a Conservatorship. Take the medication and go to therapy (maybe ECT), or you'll end up getting supervised visits for the next few years.
@Oreo My friend is about to celebrate another birthday in quarantine in late March. It's her 30th birthday. I was thinking of getting her 30 different flavors because you are her favorite cookie. Do you have 30 flavors and know where I can get all of them?
Sunday, you possibly get lucky. Monday, you get a holiday discount for a new car while overlooking the origins of the festivity itself. Today, you overeat. By tomorrow, you repent for performing lust, greed, and gluttony, so your local clergyman gives you a pass. #mardigras
❤️ this tweet to be notified when the count begins. Yup, we’re giving away one million dollars in our #MTNDEWMAJORMELON ad on Sunday.
NO PURCH. NEC. Legal res 50 US/DC 18+ (19+ NE&AL). Ends w/1st verified answer or 3/31/21. Rules: https://t.co/ZN3BJC2YDT
Maybe it’s me, but I feel like the majority of Americans today are eagerly waiting for someone to say the secret phrase, “you're fired” to Donnie, and we lose our shit in sheer excitement like the anthropomorphic cast of Pee Wee’s Playhouse. #GoodbyeDonald
There are 3 National “holidays” today. They are comic book day, lobster day, and daughter's day.
I wonder if there’s a comic book about a lobster grieving the loss of their daughter circulating today . . . Happy holidays, everyone! 📖 🦞 👩👧
My ❤️ life has morphed me into the #DragonBallZ narrator to my girls. I recap past texts before they get the latest that's mostly filler, and I'll ask how I should proceed next time. And you know they invested too much time that they will stay tuned for the next episode.