CMJ

The Yakov Smirnoff of comedy. Former teen heartthrob turned historical revisionist. He/him/homeskillet if you’re nasty.

[CMJ @CMJ_MPLS]

Anyone have recommendations for a good propaganda bot I can follow on here?

[CMJ @CMJ_MPLS]

Grok, replace “love” in all Beatles songs with “boink.”

[CMJ @CMJ_MPLS]

If children are the future, why are so many rappers naming themselves after children?

[CMJ @CMJ_MPLS]

@YourAnonCentral Oops! All ketamine!

[CMJ @CMJ_MPLS]

No Kings but Bernard King.

[CMJ @CMJ_MPLS]

L.A. is for troupes, not troops.

[CMJ @CMJ_MPLS]

MMA fighters never even try tickling.

[CMJ @CMJ_MPLS]

I like Greta Thunberg, but methinks the lady doth protest too much.

[CMJ @CMJ_MPLS]

You can learn a lot about a person by whether they prefer Yojimbo or Fistful of Dollars; mainly if they’ve seen those movies.

[CMJ @CMJ_MPLS]

@hipearlrose You’ve won me over. I can now support your motion good faith.

[CMJ @CMJ_MPLS]

@hipearlrose Pedal pub apologist.

[CMJ @CMJ_MPLS]

I think the reason I’m so scared of lasers stems from that tragic Pink Floyd laser light show when Uncle Lazer came out and told jokes.

[CMJ @CMJ_MPLS]

Chet Holmgren looks like funhouse mirror Adam Sandler.

[CMJ @CMJ_MPLS]

SGA plays basketball like he’s a rug.

[CMJ @CMJ_MPLS]

Amber Alert is also what I say whenever I find a perfectly preserved mosquito from the Triassic period that could potentially contain the DNA of a cool dinosaur.

[CMJ @CMJ_MPLS]

All dreams are nightmares when you think about It.

[CMJ @CMJ_MPLS]

SGA, Timothy McVeigh, 1-800 I-FEEL-OK, T-Wolves in 6.

[CMJ @CMJ_MPLS]

Pat Spencer looks like he fights firefighters.

[CMJ @CMJ_MPLS]

Trump should post an AI image of himself as the President.

[CMJ @CMJ_MPLS]

I hope the new pope has a dirt bike.