Danth Cobblebottom

I am very similar to how I imagine Colin Firth to be

[Danth Cobblebottom @CMowod]

My family always says they hope i settle down, but I think they just mean to stop yelling so much

[Danth Cobblebottom @CMowod]

International women’s day is a good day to reflect that women only get one day. While pancakes get an entire house.

[Danth Cobblebottom @CMowod]

Honest to god can you imagine the vitriol if I talked to my cat the way she talks to me

[Danth Cobblebottom @CMowod]

Low key would be hilarious if the president of Nicaragua won the election and played Miley Cyrus Party in the USA. He’d deserve at least a few high fives for that bit

[Danth Cobblebottom @CMowod]

@drewjanda IM AWARE ITS “FRANKENSTEINS MONSTER” YOU CAN JUST SAY “THE MONSTER” HOW MANY PEOPLE DO YOU KNOW WITH A MONSTER

[Danth Cobblebottom @CMowod]

My fans on Spotify are saying they can’t find my new hit song. Am I shadow banned?
Lmk by going onto Spotify and searching “Felching My Love Back” and see if my song is in search or no. Ty!

[Danth Cobblebottom @CMowod]

They said Democracy is on the ballot today. But I couldn’t find the box to vote against it

[Danth Cobblebottom @CMowod]

@drewjanda Susan do b Anthony tho

[Danth Cobblebottom @CMowod]

“But if I was the one what would I do”
-sum up my life’s philosophy using iambic pentameter ✅

[Danth Cobblebottom @CMowod]

@TheMcKenziest @WastednightsER @StreamOnMax Here. Here is the attention you are asking for by implying that this unfunny arrogant narcissist was saying anything other than hamas would kill her. I think you finally got what you wanted.

[Danth Cobblebottom @CMowod]

My favorite thing is doing two things at once.
My second favorite thing is sex and you’re telling me I could be doing both of these things at once?

[Danth Cobblebottom @CMowod]

New rule: when I’m drunk I can send one friend one album

[Danth Cobblebottom @CMowod]

Not to be edgy. Not to give anybody their worst day at work. But I’m trying to roll a spliff at this party and the entire party is wops. Also I’m Italian so shut up.

[Danth Cobblebottom @CMowod]

I guess my female driven psychological pilot titled “spheres of tera” is dead now after this debate

[Danth Cobblebottom @CMowod]

I truly don’t need a standing ovation. I just feel like you’re gonna feel silly for not giving me one until the end of the play so…

[Danth Cobblebottom @CMowod]

“Look, if my cat is sick, and they hide it from me, it’s not my fault”
-me, almost immediately, (hoping they see all these sexy comma. Commas)

[Danth Cobblebottom @CMowod]

My kink is after I pretend I say something off the cuff to tell everybody I actually wrote that joke last night

[Danth Cobblebottom @CMowod]

Madden25 is hilarious. You’re gonna run off 11 seconds if I call a hurry up, but if I just call a regular play it takes 6 seconds presnap…
#maths #zirksee #muthead #maddenultimateteam

[Danth Cobblebottom @CMowod]

You know it’s good coffee if you can sleep on it

[Danth Cobblebottom @CMowod]

Who needs a hawk tua when you can have a honk shoo

[Danth Cobblebottom @CMowod]

@danghentschel This is the greatest troll of all time