x - sid ⁸⁷ newt's #1 biggest fan..ᐟ

❛ go dye your hair. ❜ | @YARDGN0ME 🫶. I LOVE TIM LINCECUM!!!!!

[x - sid ⁸⁷ newt's #1 biggest fan..ᐟ @COGlTOERG0SUM]

spontaneous day trip to Citi field lol

[ck @forevercomedown]

Every time I see "ctfu" I imagine Cherita from Donnie Darko saying "Chut the fuck up!"

[sugarplum @proseluvr]

it's always a sufjan stevens summer (being nostalgic for a past you weren't even happy in)

[Spaghetti Cat Stan @livingfart]

Both him and Adrian. That movie is Love on the Spectrum.

[Spaghetti Cat Stan @livingfart]

They never tell you that Rocky is lowkey the greatest on-screen depiction of Autism

[nikki 🪽 @satanispretty]

am i the weirdest girl in ur phone. do u promise

[x - sid ⁸⁷ newt's #1 biggest fan..ᐟ @COGlTOERG0SUM]

day ruined by a MAN. A MAN. what the fuck.

[aja‼️ @b1ondeath]

having sex with tom cruise would probably be so scary he would look into your eyes while eating you out and somehow telepathically tell you the exact date and time of your death

[ToonHive @ToonHive]

Billy Mitchell has shared his thoughts on ‘Regular Show’ in a new tweet:

“F**k Mordecai and Rigby.”

The gamer previously attempted to sue Cartoon Network over an alleged parody portrayal of himself in the series, but the case was unsuccessful.

[alex turntine @turntineforwhat]

therapy isn't enough, I need to Forget

[KT @k3NG2_]

Ion need alcohol in my system to blow up a bitch phone I’m on yo ass with a sprite 🤣

[turbomander @turbomander]

when i found out my 2008 ford ranger was one of them transformers first thing i did was put a towel over the hood and drove that sumbitch through the car wash. he started hollerin' about some allsparks and i said no sir, i ain't interested in no alternative fuel i'm a diesel man

[Grace @gracecamille_]

girls who chew tobacco

bitches who ZYN

[dickie greenleaf @lgbtrealmuto]

JT CANT STOP HITTING

[Boston Globe Pitchbot @BostonSatire]

Has anyone ever walked into Star Market, seen the $499 patio table and chairs at the front, called their spouse and said “Honey, forget going to the furniture stores this weekend—Star Market has the greatest set I’ve ever seen” and then tried to buy it?

[꩜ m ꩜ @twoheadedm0th]

girl take ur bra off and smoke a joint

[den @onthecrosslook]

“Charlie, go grab us a couple’a beers from the back room.” #iasip #backrooms