Jordan

Filmmaker, gamer, writer, music lover, cat enthusiast.

I tweet mostly about the Toronto Maple Leafs, the Toronto Sceptres, and stupid jokes I think of at 3am.

[Jordan @CURSEYOU_Jordan]

@pattonoswalt @NRA Hell isn't hot enough.

[Jordan @CURSEYOU_Jordan]

@BrandyLJensen Do women not call their female friend groups sisterhoods? If not, you should. Makes it sound like you're up to some mysterious dark magic shit.

[Jordan @CURSEYOU_Jordan]

@alexxysking @PossumzBoy Waaaaaa! This cartoon character doesn't make me horny!! WAAAAAAAAAA!!!!

[Jordan @CURSEYOU_Jordan]

@lethalrejection I'm glad you listed "public bathrooms." That was a huge culture shock for me when I visited.
Also, restaurants not being open past 6pm. What's up with that?!?

[Jordan @CURSEYOU_Jordan]

@Acyn His brain is mush.

[Jordan @CURSEYOU_Jordan]

@JerasIkehorn Honestly, I think he's worse. Much worse.

[Jordan @CURSEYOU_Jordan]

@lyvrb0y Women were saying they'd rather deal with a bear than with a man because they perceive men as being a larger threat. That doesn't mean if men didn't exist they'd start looking for a way to intentionally endanger themselves.

Guys, stop making us look dumb and insecure. I beg you.

[Jordan @CURSEYOU_Jordan]

@bittersweetswan I'm not saying that dogs smelling absolutely rancid is the reason why I'm a cat person, but you definitely have to be a dog person to overlook the smell.

In fairness, it's precisely because I'm a cat person that I overlook the hairballs and my ironic allergies.

[Jordan @CURSEYOU_Jordan]

@lescarletwoman It's just insecurity.
See, a fuck-ton of people have attached the type of beer they enjoy or the amount (they think) they're able to consume directly to their identity.
These people are called "losers", and they do it because there's literally nothing else interesting about them.

[Jordan @CURSEYOU_Jordan]

@joncoopertweets Immeasurably relieved.

[Jordan @CURSEYOU_Jordan]

@shauseth Elon Musk did not do this.
He hired people who could, took the credit, and you were happy to nod along with it.

[Jordan @CURSEYOU_Jordan]

@METAPCs I still play Hover! once in a blue moon. I can only really take maybe 15 minutes or so before I've had my fill, but it gives me that nostalgia hit I need. I remember in the mid 90s it seemed like magic to me. I would play it for hours and hours and never get bored.

[Jordan @CURSEYOU_Jordan]

@egoraptor 😥So sorry to hear. Losing a pet is always heartbreaking.

[Jordan @CURSEYOU_Jordan]

@PWHL_Toronto @MaggieConnors9 Update: I just talked to Hank, and he says he *reeeeeally* wants to know when the schedule for the upcoming season is getting released. He says he's been an extra good boy in the hopes it happens soon. You don't want to disappoint Hank, do you?

[Jordan @CURSEYOU_Jordan]

@NextWaveAmerica If anyone has ever noticed the trend of how the people who are the most loathsome racist assholes alive and the people who are the most ignorant uneducated imbeciles alive seem to always be one and the same group of people, rest assured: it's not a coincidence.

[Jordan @CURSEYOU_Jordan]

@zei_squirrel I could afford all the tea in China if I had a dollar for every time someone heard Sam Harris criticize Islam as an ideology and interpreted it as a call to arms against all Muslims.

Think what you want about Harris, but don't put words in his mouth. He said nothing of the kind.

[Jordan @CURSEYOU_Jordan]

@DecodingFoxNews I knew someone who you'd swear was *flaming* gay; and yet, he was married to a woman and had two children with her....maybe he's just really flamboyant, I thought.
But no. He came out and they're divorced.

Sometimes, you can tell about people even before they realize themselves.

[Jordan @CURSEYOU_Jordan]

@tricksyloki Because people are watching movies on their fucking phones.

[Jordan @CURSEYOU_Jordan]

@c1nnamonbunny They're now Malcolm in the Middle-aged.

[Jordan @CURSEYOU_Jordan]

@ZFlawles1s Not that it ought to matter, but it is pretty cool.