🚨 BREAKING NEWS 🚨 This Weekend ONLY! BOOK NOW at https://t.co/I4EzfhxHIS
After several questionable decisions and one meeting we should not have been allowed to lead…
We are officially offering GIRAFFE + ZEBRA RIDES this weekend.
Yes. Both.
No. We did not think this through.
⸻
🦒 GIRAFFE RIDES
• Enjoy a peaceful, elevated ride 12 feet in the air
• See the world the way birds do
• Regret your life choices slowly on the way up
🦓 ZEBRA RIDES
• Imagine a horse…
• Now remove all logic, patience, and emotional stability
• Congrats — you’re ready
⸻
What to expect:
• Zero training session
• Maximum confidence (unearned)
• A story your family will question forever
Weight limit: Vibes
Safety briefing: “Hold on and good luck”
Waiver: Written in crayon. Legally useless.
⸻
We asked the zebra if it was okay…
It stared directly into our soul and walked off.
We’re taking that as a strong maybe.
The giraffe didn’t even respond.
Which honestly feels worse.
⸻
🚨 LIMITED SPOTS AVAILABLE 🚨
(mainly because the animals run this place and we’re on thin ice)
👉 Book now before they change their minds…
…
APRIL FOOLS.
You’re not riding a zebra.
You’re definitely not riding a giraffe.
But you can come meet our AMAZING Animals
🚨 BREAKING NEWS 🚨
Local Otter Accused of Repeatedly Stealing Girlfriends Authorities Say “It Keeps Happening”
JR reportedly uses eye contact & aggressive cuddles to emotionally replace boyfriends.
Bring your girl at your own risk. 🦦💔
I had to join in.. SORRY IN ADVANCE.. But If You Want Your BF/Husband To Purchase A VIP TOUR Here Ya Go!! Book It Now at https://t.co/UfudTtOBLU LMAO All In Good Fun People #HuakTuah