perpetual sports sufferer (it's a Philly thing)

[DaBoyDame @DaBoyDame]

Niggas can’t rap

[Bird @MoreLifeBird]

This will forever be my favorite Drake skit😭

[𝚔𝚎𝚗𝚍𝚛𝚒𝚌𝚔 𝚕𝚘𝚋𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚛 @KLobstar]

I am attending a wedding for someone I have known for a long time who will see this tweet

I am sending you 450 live crabs as a wedding gift they will arrive two days before you arrive home

[vids that go hard @vidsthatgohard]

What are they feeding these editors, this is a masterpiece 😭🔥

[DiscussingFilm @DiscussingFilm]

Susan Egan, voice of Meg in ‘HERCULES’, says she wants Tom Holland & Zendaya to play Hercules & Meg in a live-action remake.

(Source: Deadline)

[PHLY Phillies @PHLY_Phillies]

Phillies since the all star break

[Hater Report @HaterReport]

LeBron waking Bronny up on Christmas morning before the Lakers and Sixers game

[Fesshole🧻 @fesshole]

I was in the Co-op shopping and saw my blond, slim, attractive friend putting pastries in her basket. I had great delight in shouting out "put them back you fat bastard". When she turned around with abject horror on her face, it matched mine as I realised it wasn't my friend…

[Lost Internet @LostMemeArchive]

Why'd he say fuck me for? — 50 Cent (2014)

[Daquan Wiltshire DSG 🤘🏾🐝 @DAQUANDSG]

Adam22 watching the video

[Jarrett Bailey @JBaileyNFL]

Cris Collinsworth: Raccoons kept getting my tomatoes. So I went out and bought a crossbow and a ghillie suit. I Camped out in my yard, blasted one at 3 AM, and displayed it as a warning. My neighbors called the ASPCA, so I have a court date next week.

Mike Tirico: Second down

[James @exhaustdata]

New trailer for ‘PRIMETIME’, starring Robert Pattinson as Chris Hansen.

The film follows Chris Hansen as he runs ‘How To Catch A Predator’ where he confronts adult men who think they are meeting minors to have sex.

In theaters on September 25.

[chaotic memes @memechaotic]

Hang this in the Louvre.

[Philly Dawgs @PHLDawgs]

Eliot Shorr-Parks Training Camp Stats, Day 6:

After a disastrous Day 5, ESP bounced back with another impressive display of confidently being wrong.

He opened practice by firing off multiple tweets before anyone else, ensuring accuracy never had a chance to get involved.

His next few reps consisted of turning incompletions into breaking news and completions into reasons for concern.

Later in practice, he successfully ignored several good plays in favor of finding one thing to complain about.

Overall another efficient day from ESP.

Day 6 Stats: 14 Tweets, 0 IQ

2026 Stats: Countless bad takes, 0 accountability

Grade: F

[Saquon Center @SaquonsCenter]

Still one of the greatest moments in Super Bowl history.