Me sober in an Uber:
Me drunk in an Uber: Ya but you see, their parents never catch them. The sister is always trying to tell on them. But they never get caught. It’s insane. And there’s a fucking platypus. Ya it’s called Phineas and Ferb dude you seriously have to check it out
Stop getting rid of your pets because they aren’t what you expected Clifford was literally the smallest puppy and turned out to be a 30 FOOT RED DOG AND EMILY ELIZABETH STILL MADE IT WORK
i just saw a dad get out of the car with his two young boys and he yells ‘WHO CAN GO HUG MOM THE FASTEST?!’ and all of them start running toward their house. that’s the kind of future i want.