Caine1998

Please follow me I'm lonely.

[Jerry Strachan @mrjerrystrachan]

#DaveAtTheFringe Contrary to your continuity announcer, there's no such thing as the Edinburgh Comedy Festival. It's the Fringe.

[Caine1998 @Caine19981]

That news skit about teeth was absolutely terrible. Please fire whoever wrote that.

Thanks xoxo

#daveatthefringe

[Caine1998 @Caine19981]

News to me...

#queen #panicatthedisco

[Caine1998 @Caine19981]

@liamgallagher if you end up with a sore throat this time round for MTV unplugged I'll happily step in and do the acoustic set for you mate x

#MTVUnplugged #LiamGallagher #helpabrotherout

[Caine1998 @Caine19981]

"Just wanted to drop by and say have fun. Tonight should be a free-fire idea zone. Watch a DVD, eat some pizza, fuck each other. I'm serious. Fuck a chicken if that's what it takes. Watch a chicken fucking a horse."

-Boris at his first cabinet meeting

#boris #peepshow #Johnson

[Caine1998 @Caine19981]

Oi, Amber.

#LoveIsland

[Caine1998 @Caine19981]

Everyone right now...

#LoveIsland

[Caine1998 @Caine19981]

"yeah you seem like a reverse cow girl kinda girl"

What? Because you don't have to see her face?

#LoveIsland

[Caine1998 @Caine19981]

@Grimmers good luck with Maura mate hope it goes well for you xoxo

#LoveIsland #nickgrimshaw

[Caine1998 @Caine19981]

@NandosUK

Couple infront of me in the queue:
"The half chicken, how big is that?"

Kill me.

[Caine1998 @Caine19981]

@NandosUK with my mum, absolutely shameful behaviour from her. Opening the fucking menu???

They're there to be ignored for 5 minutes before you go up and order.

Fucking amateur hour.

[Caine1998 @Caine19981]

Imagine if people irl treated money like you do in GTA.

Walk into someone's gaff and there's just a load of tenners on the floor like wtf clean up ya rich prick.

#GTAOnline #GTA5 #GTA #MoneyTalks #fml

[Busolalucia @Busola_Lucia]

@Caine19981 😂

[Caine1998 @Caine19981]

"I'm dyslexic"
"I didn't finish school"

#loveisland

[Caine1998 @Caine19981]

My greatest achievement during first year at uni is that I now like the taste of vodka.

Water was always overrated.

#student #studentvoice

[Caine1998 @Caine19981]

George and Amy would make the perfect couple.

Competitive boringness would reach previously unheard of levels.

#loveisland

[Caine1998 @Caine19981]

Anton is like a kid sat by the tree on Christmas morning, can't quite decide which present he wants to open first so just grabs the nearest one 😂.

#loveisland

[Caine1998 @Caine19981]

@jlests @MattKing1202 https://t.co/1tAgTRwISx

:) x

[Caine1998 @Caine19981]

Just a friendly reminder to all the gals out there that ask a guy to keep a secret.

9 times out of 10 he'll tell his best mate, it's just a fact of life.

Tommy <3 Curtis

#loveisland

[Caine1998 @Caine19981]

Why does Lucie always look like she's been crying?

Poor gal.

#loveisland