The Big CIA

Calgorithm Intelligence Agency. Destabilizing College Football since 1886

[Callie Wake @wokemobfootball]

Dearest Abigail—
At your earliest convenience, please rendezvous with me at the garrison with preparations for extraction. We’re under fire from a well equipped battalion, led by a wild eyed, silver tongued riverboat captain by the name of Ronald, and I am frightened.
— Andrew

[The Big CIA @CalIntelAgency]

@stanfballupdate @stanfordgarycat @wokemobfootball “Ackshewally, you Calgorithm burners just post the same old shit 80% of the time”

[Callie Wake @wokemobfootball]

You gotta respect the furd band. It takes real dedication to consistently remain this auraless every single year.

[Callie Wake @wokemobfootball]

LIVE FROM LOUISVILLE

[The Big CIA @CalIntelAgency]

Nah twin, it wasn’t us

[Callie Wake @wokemobfootball]

Breaking News Wetbeefs has been taken by Cal’s Leftist regime

[The Big CIA @CalIntelAgency]

@ToniGrowlzalez @wokemobfootball Show us your WR’s who can catch

[The Big CIA @CalIntelAgency]

@wokemobfootball Please delete this, it’s a matter of Calgorithm national security

[The Big CIA @CalIntelAgency]

@182747442A We need more than your statement, old man.

[The Big CIA @CalIntelAgency]

@182747442A We’ll be sending agents to your home promptly to take an incident report.

[Calgorithm Department of Labor @Calgorithm_DOL]

Official: UVA fan base will be classified as “beige curtains.” Not good, not bad. Just there. Some funny-ish, some lame and there’s a guy that really wants to spank me. Outside of that, they’re pretty boring.

[The Big CIA @CalIntelAgency]

@CalDeptOfState @CalAlumniLA @CalBand Classified information 💯

[The Big CIA @CalIntelAgency]

Well that fuckin sucked, time to go jack off

[The Big CIA @CalIntelAgency]

@DeusGreenie @wokemobfootball @TofuMonkey1 Agent Goldwater (aka Jordon Hudson) is a recently debriefed and declassified Calgorithm operative. Her intel was imperative to Cal’s victory last week. Assistant Director Oski handled Mr. Belichick personally during the game

[The Big CIA @CalIntelAgency]

We would again like to thank Agent Goldwater for her assistance against UNC. Tipping us off to the final play they were going to run so we could punch the ball out was absolutely invaluable. Go Bears!

[The Big CIA @CalIntelAgency]

We’re happy to announce we are now declassifying Jordon Hudson’s code name: Agent Goldwater. She’s a fellow Bear (from Bridgewater State) and has been leaking UNC strategies to us

Below is a pic of our mole and her Cal handler (who is not @wokemobfootball) in disguise. Go Bears!

[The Big CIA @CalIntelAgency]

We’re happy to announce we are now declassifying Jordon Hudson’s code name: Agent Goldwater. She’s a fellow Bear (from Bridgewater State) and has been leaking UNC strategies to us

Below is a pic of our mole and her Cal handler (who is not @wokemobfootball) in disguise. Go Bears!

[Callie Wake @wokemobfootball]

Bordeaux, look man I respect the grind dog, but this is just an easy way to encourage students to get tickets to scalp to other students for a quick buck. If the prices were set to the same prices as what students usually pay for a ticket (plus the sites fees), I’d be kinda on board. But that’s clearly not the case, we can see that on the site in your video. Student seat is an easy way for a student to set up a system of scalping, pricing out students who actually want to attend the games but weren’t lucky enough to get a ticket through the usual lottery system.

[Calgorithm Dept of State @CalDeptOfState]

Pressing the elderly into coaching in the @ACCFootball is now illegal in Bear Territory.

Bill Belichick has been emancipated by the Calgorithm.

[The Big CIA @CalIntelAgency]

Agents, new mission from the head of the CIA. Ensure Student Seats is never used by students. Scalping hurts everyone, and ruins the fan experience.

[Callie Wake @wokemobfootball]

Honestly I had a couple this year I kinda went crazy with

[The Big CIA @CalIntelAgency]

Please help us identify this enemy agent

[El Nino - I am your Oski Padre @nino_your]

@JRocks510 @CalIntelAgency