Calvin Murata

[Calvin Murata @CalMurata]

A second spit has hit the field

[Calvin Murata @CalMurata]

Sitting alone in the dark hitting the hardest first down celebrations all day

[Calvin Murata @CalMurata]

If Jalen hurts was my QB I’d also be reading Colleen Hoover on the bench

[Calvin Murata @CalMurata]

Lee Corso is more competent than Livvy Dunne making picks

[Calvin Murata @CalMurata]

*gets T-boned by a drunk driver”
My friend who was driving: “Cal, are you okay?”
Me who just watched 6 straight seasons of Drive to Survive: “Looks like we’re gonna have to retire the car. Box, box.”

[Calvin Murata @CalMurata]

Please play Big Bootie Mix at my funeral

[Calvin Murata @CalMurata]

The Weekend Update joke swap but it’s Shane and Bowen Yang

[Saturday Night Live @nbcsnl]

Next show!!!

[Calvin Murata @CalMurata]

Standing desks are crazy because I’m leaning on it like I’m waiting for a drink and the bartender refuses to look at me

[Calvin Murata @CalMurata]

Me when the song goes “Spend my dollar…”

[Calvin Murata @CalMurata]

If Alabama loses this game I vow to never drunkenly sing the ad libs of Dixieland Delight

[Calvin Murata @CalMurata]

If Alabama loses this game I vow to never drunkenly sing the ad libs of Dixieland Delight

[Calvin Murata @CalMurata]

Got an iPad for Christmas, now I can lose money on FanDuel but on a bigger screen 😎

[Calvin Murata @CalMurata]

2024 resolutions:
- grow mustache
- vape less
- smoke more cigarettes

[Calvin Murata @CalMurata]

I’m down astronomically bad, my Spotify Wrapped is identical to every person on Instagram that I hate

[Calvin Murata @CalMurata]

@mrsegobiano Hard to justify a firing with his overall record, but even he seems like he can’t handle the pressure of this insane fan base (not many can). I wouldn’t be surprised with either outcome.

[Calvin Murata @CalMurata]

@mrsegobiano Nah this was on Day for sure. Kyle didn’t do the team any favors outside of a couple decent throws

[Calvin Murata @CalMurata]

“Ryan, why didn’t you go for it on 4th and 1 from the 48?”

“Because I couldn’t punt it from the 49”
- Ryan Day 2023

[Calvin Murata @CalMurata]

This is how he’s going to walk into Geico headquarters every morning at 9AM

[Ohio State Football @OhioStateFB]

Let's Dance 🕺

#GoBucks

[Calvin Murata @CalMurata]

It’s 7AM in Maui, I’m about to wake up the whole AirBNB screaming “I WANT TO DIE” after our first offensive play isn’t a touchdown

[Calvin Murata @CalMurata]

@thatpaulingkid Not the time.

[Calvin Murata @CalMurata]

Mom: it’s so cute how you’re rooting for Purdue
Me (with Purdue -3.5 and a 24oz Kona Big Wave deep): haha yeah

[Calvin Murata @CalMurata]

@E_Raze7 @truncewoody The Truncellito line bump 😩