CalebUncovered

Renowned journalist.
Writer for The Times Magazine.
Author of biography 'The Road Less Travelled: My Unique Path to Success'.

[CalebUncovered @Caleb3am]

Queef alert 🚨

American heartthrob (and my hallpass) Timothee Chalemet was arrested last night after breaking into the San Diego Zoo. He was speen placing a banana skin on his willy and entering the Silverback Gorilla pen. Smh.

Wordle in two today guys
#annoy #p4L #DonaldTrump

[CalebUncovered @Caleb3am]

So, where have I been?
After figuring out Cumberbatch's weaknesses, I posed as a 13 year old prepubescent teen. Unfortunately, i was intercepted by Americas #1 most feared pedo and have been his boy toy ever since. I escaped yesterday and boy does my behind need a rest 😴 😄

[CalebUncovered @Caleb3am]

@ryanbigwillly Sources close to me claim Wormtail does a delightful seafood chowder which You Know Who enjoys munching on. I'll keep you posted

[CalebUncovered @Caleb3am]

@ryanbigwillly Unequivocally inspirational

[CalebUncovered @Caleb3am]

@ryanbigwillly My guy

[CalebUncovered @Caleb3am]

Confirmed!! 🚨

Chris Pratt will be playing Rosa Parks in the upcoming movie 'Get Out of My Seat'. The male protagonist in the film will be played by Zac Efron who stated that playing a racist white man was the role he was 'born to play'.

Give me a front row seat! #MiaKhalifa

[CalebUncovered @Caleb3am]

@andruchk @HeritageFutebol @AmitendraGhosh You have a hemroid

[CalebUncovered @Caleb3am]

@tacco_muchacho @ryanbigwillly @astrofalls Omg 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[CalebUncovered @Caleb3am]

@ryanbigwillly My guy. I've seen you naked. You should be proud!

[CalebUncovered @Caleb3am]

#saturdaysharesies

No photo today, not exactly feeling myself 😔

The reason I'm all down in the dumps is my grandma passed away. She tripped on my toy train and broke her neck. Stupid hag. But boy do I feel guilty!

Anyone got something to cheer me up?

#StarWarsJediSurvivor

[CalebUncovered @Caleb3am]

@ryanbigwillly My advice...
Stay low, stay out of sight. I have heard rumors that there's a target on your head. You have made enemies with the wrong crowd my friend

[CalebUncovered @Caleb3am]

#Saturdaysharesies
In England today so this is a day later than usual!

I am the youngest of 4 brothers. They picked on me a lot and thought I was "troubled." I no longer have contact with them. Good riddance I say. Their names are Joe, Kevin, and Nick.
#year3000 #camprock

[CalebUncovered @Caleb3am]

@blake_adam52 Relax frendo, keep stay out of my way and I'll stay out of yours. SEE YOU AT THE TOP!

[CalebUncovered @Caleb3am]

@blake_adam52 You amuse me my friend 🤣🤣. I have screenshots given to me by a friend of yours. DO NOT MAKE ME POST THESE. You would see your plumbing career flushed down the toilet (pun alert!)

[CalebUncovered @Caleb3am]

@blake_adam52 That's very hypocritical of you Blake. I've heard numerous stories about your antics. Don't make me expose you

[CalebUncovered @Caleb3am]

@PaintingMeJosh @ryanbigwillly Respect

[CalebUncovered @Caleb3am]

@ryanbigwillly A small oblong piece of flaked or minced fish coated in batter or breadcrumbs and fried or grilled.

[CalebUncovered @Caleb3am]

#Saturdaysharesies

Been a rough week 😔
Got laid off from my work for "harassing the eldery". Then came home to my Gran complaining about me "never helping around the house". She keeps over cooking my fish fingers and now this?! Bitch is getting on my nerves.
#oldpeoplesuck

[CalebUncovered @Caleb3am]

@ryanbigwillly Not a photoshoot my friend. Set up a self timer today!! Always take my photos the same day I post. Glad you enjoy!

[CalebUncovered @Caleb3am]

#Saturdaysharesies

Let's talk about my ambitions!!

I always wanted to become a strategy expert and analysist for the army!

That was until my computer was hacked and all my strategies were leaked.

Thanks a lot Bin Laden

#nineeleven #terrorism #DonaldTrump #itwasme